Tips for combating post-holiday blues

In the weeks leading up to the Christmas/New Year's extravaganza, the media focused on what is sometimes called "holiday depression."

We were reminded that Christmas is not a time of good cheer for everyone. Many people, in fact, struggle with feelings like loneliness, grief and hopelessness. This year, in particular, will likely go down as one of the tougher Christmases in memory.

Actually, though the holidays are a time of increased depression, some research suggests the period following the Christmas/New Year's celebration is actually more challenging for many of us. A large number of individuals and families struggle with what might be called "post-holiday" depression during January and February

I can think of a number of factors that might contribute to such depression.

First, all of us experience a bit of depression just in resuming the normal routines of work, home, etc. after the Christmas/New Year's break. Our holiday high almost mandates a letdown afterward.

And, of course, Chicago weather doesn't help, either. Our dark, cold and rather bleak winter days can make it easy to become lethargic, feel isolated, and get down in the dumps (for a few of us the lack of sunlight even seems to actually cause depression - at its most severe we call this Seasonal Affective Disorder.

A third reason: Those of us who did find the holidays to be times of loneliness, etc. can have trouble shaking such feelings afterward. Whatever was behind such feelings to begin with lingers in our awareness and continues to feed into our unpleasant emotions.

Similarly, many of us seem to go into the holidays with the expectation that somehow they will solve whatever particular problems we have been struggling with. If we feel distant from our friends, if we have unresolved marriage problems, if we don't get along with our kids, or if we hate our job, Christmas and New Year's will magically make things better.

We are, then, somewhat surprised and a bit disillusioned to find ourselves entering the new year with the same problems we took into the end of the year festivities. In fact, things may even be a bit worse, what with all the often forced cheerfulness and sometimes artificial closeness of the season.

Such pretending can make us start to realize just how bad things really are.

Now, to make things worse, our post-holiday low will probably be echoed by some of the people around us, especially those who are part of our problem. The combined weight of our mutual depressions can easily pull us all down even further.

Big or small, such depression isn't something we should simply endure, hoping that spring will melt it away with the snow and ice. There are a number of steps we can take to change the way we feel.

First, though our holiday high is over, we can schedule additional "highs" during the remainder of the winter. A few nights out, special meals, a getaway weekend, or a vacation are all good ways to interrupt the post-holiday doldrums.

Regular exercise also can be effective. There is a good deal of evidence that the biochemical change produced in the body by exercise can counter some depression. And, if possible, exercise with a friend.

Certainly being more tolerant and patient with those around us can't hurt. Rather than allowing someone else's depression to aggravate us or pull us down as well, we can work to accept their feelings and maintain our own sense of balance. We also can share our own thoughts and feelings rather than just taking them out on those around us.

Such simple interventions can do a great deal to get us over the midwinter hump. Yet often our depression is grounded in problems of a more serious nature.

Unresolved and chronic anger in our relationships, avoiding actions we know we need to take, a loss of meaning or direction for our lives - these and other factors can result in a depression that cannot be vacationed or exercised or reasoned away.

Such depression deserves our close attention, and the sooner we attend to it the better. Depression (and the problems which underlie it) almost always gets worse with time. Sometimes we may want to get professional help to sort it all out.

All in all, the post-holiday period is a bit of a challenge to everyone. It is an especially good time to treat ourselves, and those around us, with a little extra attention and caring. We deserve it.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."