Career Coach: The art of managing family medical leave
The email came just as I was beginning to think about the fall semester. One of our adjunct professors, a talented teacher with great ratings from students, was pregnant. Wonderful news, except that her pregnancy had run into complications and she wouldn't be able to teach her section in the fall.
After my initial alarm, hoping she was OK, three thoughts came into my head. First, what were we going to do without her? Second, somewhat resentfully, I've handled a heavy workload with three high-risk pregnancies, why can't she? And third, I wish I had her courage to put myself and my baby first when it might have been the best choice.
Many of us who've had children during the "bad old days" before parental leave was a hot topic in the media, in front of city councils and state legislatures, and in the war for talent may feel similarly - especially the second emotion I had, of resentment. I don't give in to the "I did it, so can she" mentality, because then we'll never make progress in the workplace on issues of family leave and work-life "balance." If you're the one with the challenging pregnancy, sick child at home, or family member needing care, however, how do you manage when workplaces are just beginning to wake up to the necessity of family-friendly policies?
1. Know your rights.
Given the patchwork of federal, state, and local laws on leave, and the idiosyncrasies in each workplace, it's essential that you educate yourself on what you're entitled to if you need to take leave. If you've worked for an organization with 50 or more employees for 12 months, and have worked 1,250 hours or more in those 12 months, you're entitled to 12 weeks of unpaid leave under the federal Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) for the birth or adoption of a child; care of a sick parent, spouse, or child; or your own illness. In Washington, D.C., FMLA is more generous - employers with 20 or more employees must provide up to 16 weeks of leave, and D.C. has more generous requirements for paid sick leave as well, with most employers required to provide at least some paid leave for employees.
Many folks I know have had wide variations in experiences of asking to take leave. Some found their human resources departments to be knowledgeable and forthcoming, while others were shamed or made to feel badly for taking the leave they were entitled to. Talk to other people who have taken leave in your workplace if you're not comfortable talking to the human resources professionals. In the D.C. area, First Shift Justice League provides education and resources for knowing your rights. While it'd be great of everyone was crystal clear on leave policies and encouraged employees to do what was best for their health and family, that's not the case right now. Education is power, and Google - or Susanne in sales who just got back from maternity leave - is your friend.
2. In an unfair system, if you can, be fair.
Parental leave policies in the U.S. are, well, nonexistent, even as the rest of the world gets better, and many parents-to-be may be less than forthcoming about their intentions post-baby. Given the life change having a baby entails, many, many women - 43 percent - make major career shifts, including quitting, after having a baby. Incidentally, more men are also leaving the workforce, although only a very small number are staying home to raise children. To keep a good professional reputation, though, I do believe in being as fair and honest as you can about your intentions about taking leave. Making the right preparations regardless of your intentions post-leave help cement your good reputation.
Whether you're not returning at all or you'll be back in a few weeks, documenting the responsibilities of your job is both helpful to you and your colleagues and a mark of professionalism on your part. Besides, while you are off, you don't need Susanne from sales pinging you about a major client's contact information. Document contact information, important processes you follow daily, and templates for documents you create frequently. Create an easy-to-access printed binder or folder online in Google Drive or Dropbox. Make a table of contents. Not only will your colleagues thank you, but you'll thank yourself when you return to work after an extended absence and feel a bit rusty, or for new moms and dads, sleep-deprived.
3. Renegotiate your situation to honor your values
I envied my colleague for her clear, concise decision not to come back to teach this semester. Fear - of losing my job, of not getting ahead, or being seen as less than committed - has sometimes kept me from taking a break when I might have needed it. When pregnant with twins and after being told by my doctors I couldn't work much past 25 weeks pregnant, I finally asked colleagues to step in and cover some of my classes. And you know what? They did. One of the tenets of negotiation is that you might be surprised how often people will say "yes" to your requests. Taking care of yourself and your family is important. If you value your family, it's worth it to at least try and negotiate what will work for you at work.
---
Nicole Coomber is a lecturer in management and organization for the University of Maryland's Robert H. Smith School of Business and mother to four boys. She writes about managing parenthood and work at managingmotherhood.net, where you can find a guide for prepping for your parental leave.