Comically challenged 'Masterminds' exhibits neither mastery nor a mind
The release date of this disappointingly anemic comedy has been pushed back two times since August 2015.
Would once more have killed anyone?
“Masterminds” won't rank as one of history's big-budget botches such as “Ishtar” and “Heaven's Gate,” but the colossal waste of class-A comedy talent should qualify as a felony in Tinseltown.
The cast features four “Saturday Night Live” superstars, all directed by Jared Hess, creator of the universally beloved cult comedy “Napoleon Dynamite.”
“SNL” producer Lorne Michael also produced “Masterminds.” One of its executive producers, Danny McBride, is the creator, writer and star of the hilarious HBO comedy series “Vice Principals.”
How could these pedigreed powder kegs of humor create such a listless, character-driven-away feature in which the funniest parts involve bodily evacuations unsuitable for discussion in a family newspaper?
This “based on a true story” heist comedy uses as its source the October 1997 Loomis Fargo robbery in North Carolina (not to be confused with the March 1997 Loomis Fargo armored car robbery, although the similarities are stunning).
Zach Galifianakis (replacing original star Jim Carrey who bailed out early) plays David Ghantt, a trusted, longtime armored-truck driver for Loomis Fargo.
He leads a boring life. His boring voice-over narration tells us all about it, along with his plans to marry his creepy girlfriend (Kate McKinnon) who seems to have beamed in from some other different movie.
David, an overweight, unhappy chap with an outdoor-carpet-grade beard and Prince-Valiant-on-Rogaine coiffure, falls for fellow Loomis Fargo employee Kelly Campbell (a surprisingly undercranked Kristen Wiig).
After she quits, a conniving thief named Steve Chambers (Owen Wilson, on Western-drawl autopilot) uses Kelly to persuade David to rob his company of $17 million, then high-tail it to Mexico with $20,000 while Chambers and his wife, Michelle (Mary Elizabeth Ellis), purchase a mansion, expensive cars and extremely ugly matching wardrobes.
“Masterminds” underachieves on all levels: its pedestrian, unclever dialogue; David Rennie's snapless editing; and the soundtrack's ill-fitting, non-period song choices (such as Hamilton, Joe Frank & Reynold's “Don't Pull Your Love” and Rare Earth's “I Just Want to Celebrate”).
Galifianakis has always been a character actor who works better in supporting roles than in leads, where his trademark dummy goofball shtick can rapidly grow tiresome.
Not so with key “SNL” supporting players Jason Sudeikis (as an Ace Ventura-esque hitman) and Leslie Jones (as a no-bull investigator hot on the trail of the bad guys).
These performers create characters with such spunky personalities and forceful verbal dexterity that you might wish “Masterminds” had focused on them instead of all those other guys.
For, as it turns out, they're of no mind at all.
“Masterminds”
★ ½
Starring: Zach Galifianakis, Kristen Wiig, Owen Wilson, Jason Sudeikis, Kate McKinnon, Leslie Jones
Directed by: Jared Hess
Other: A Relativity Media release. Rated PG-13 for language, sexual situations, violence. 90 minutes