Small acts begin the fight against coarsening culture

So suddenly, it is June, and it seems that even the most modest bush is blooming its little head off. Despite the Metro being closed for a year for repairs (yes, a year!), some Washingtonians are still able to tackle the day's challenges and threats with equanimity. A few have not forgotten that, somewhere along the way, they had learned to say "Please," "Excuse me" and even "Thank you."

You have doubtless noted that I have used the words "some" and "few." For surely it is difficult anymore to see June as the month of generosity, gratitude and grace that it was in our childhoods.

For one thing, we have Donald Trump clogging our airwaves every waking moment with his vulgarity and bullying rants, and there's doubtless more to come.

Trump has made the worst words in the English language, once embarrassing to whisper even in the bawdy houses of Calais, common in parlors and drawing rooms (the White House?). And no one has yet asked the "presumptive" Republican presidential candidate: Did you not have a mother?

You see, until the once inspirational women's movement became distorted into a struggle for female power and greed, it was, in virtually every society in the world, the women who maintained and imposed cultural norms.

Remember the great anthropologist Margaret Mead, who praised the civilizing care of the women in families she studied all over the world. Recall the American West, where it was the women homesteaders, dressed in long skirts and feminine blouses, who brought civility, education and culture to that vast wonderland.

But back to June. This month is particularly important in this discussion because it is often the month for the beautiful, memorable celebrations that for centuries have kept alive the spiritual imprint of the great religions.

Have you been to a wedding recently? Did you give the happy couple and their children (we're trying hard to be very "cool" here) a gift? Did you perhaps receive a thank-you in return (even an email or a tweet)? Did you perhaps lose your hearing at the event, with the blasting music? Did they, in fact, act as though THEY were doing YOU a favor by inviting you?

I am, of course, attempting, dear reader, to say that we have broken, or allowed to be broken for us, those ties of generosity and gratitude among humans at the very moments of their greatest need for spiritual unity. I'm saying that we ain't so cultured as our white-haired mudders woulda had us be!

But it isn't only cultural; these qualities are also part of the drive to corporate development, also known as jobs. Listen to Michael Norton, a respected professor at the Harvard Business School.

In a beautifully titled article in Fast Company - "Happiness Equals Gratitude Plus Generosity Plus Sincerity" - Shawn Parr explains that professor Norton's studies have determined that the path to personal or corporate happiness is to be found in generosity toward others, as well as with gratitude for the good things in one's own life.

Norton denies the idea that more money will make you notably happier; it is only how you spend that money that makes a real difference.

And in religious thought? Christianity strongly praises generosity, but a multifaceted generosity. The Apostle Paul wrote: "We have different gifts, according to the grace given us." And so, each must give according to his or her gifts not only material goods but one's talents.

In the Quran, Allah divides people between those who are grateful and ungrateful to motivate people to join the grateful. Having a sense of gratitude brings a sense of happiness.

In Buddhism, the concept of "dana" is evoked when monks go house to house, allowing believers to enjoy the blessing of generosity.

So, here's an idea: Go out and buy some really beautiful notecards, emboss your name on them in gold or purple. Write "Thank you" on them. Or "Hope you're better." Or, "I'm praying for you."

In such small ways, we can begin to repair the culture of our needy society again. We are at a moment when it must be changed, or it will rapidly get worse.

Email Georgie Anne Geyer at gigi_geyer@juno.com.

© 2016, Universal