'Single' rom-com suffers from diet of spoon-fed dialogue

"How to Be Single" follows the romantic exploits of four New York women grappling with relationships and self-esteem issues, but only one - Dakota Johnson's Alice - delivers a surprisingly shortsighted, closing voice-over speech about the importance of being single, something that should be appreciated because it ends all too soon.

Not really.

The true importance of learning how to be single while you're young becomes apparent later in life when your male mate will statistically die before you do. Or you divorce. So, you'll be better prepared for those things.

Of course, none of the women thinks about these particular events, because "How to Be Single" is a romantic comedy set in a world of Bridget Joneses all looking for Mr. Goodbar, or maybe just looking for a mister at a good bar.

Ever since college, Alice has been with sweet guy Josh (Nicholas Braun). She wants to spend some time alone. You know, to have some her-time and make sure they are right for the long haul.

Her guide into this brave new single world is Robin (Rebel Wilson on comic autopilot), a boisterous, outgoing, probable alcoholic who pushes Alice into getting out there on the dating circuit.

Alice's much older single sister Meg (Leslie Mann) works as an obstetrician and has no time for the sort of relationship that would produce one of the zillions of babies she's ushered into the world.

Meanwhile, Lucy (Alison Brie) has her own analytical approach to dating. While talking to hunky bartender Tom (Anders Holm), she crushes some nuts to illustrate her sad statistical chances of finding true love.

The bartender inexplicably takes her under his buffalo wing and reveals his secrets to how he manipulates women. (If he sounds like a ripoff of Justin Long's caring bartender in "He's Just Not That Into You," consider that Abby Kohn and Marc Silverstein cowrote both screenplays based on books by Liz Tuccillo.)

Alice meets a single dad named David (Damon Wayans Jr.) who has more baggage than she suspects. Sister Meg inflicts bruises all over an adorable would-be suitor named Ken (Jake Lacy) by constantly touching him with 10-foot-poles.

"How to Be Single" is a cartoon movie in the sense that it spoon-feeds viewers more than everything they need to know about sex in the city.

No thought goes unspoken. No motivation goes unexplained. No emotion goes unexpressed.

It's as if this comic romance has been designed for non-self-aware audiences who need everything underscored, overwritten and underlined for maximum understanding.

What else might you expect from a movie that opens with a woman driving into New York City while song lyrics emphasize the obvious: "Welcome to New York!"

Mann's Meg makes the movie's most emo moment by talking to the cutest baby in the city (a brief, wonderful scene that took three hours to shoot on a small set).

Director Christian Ditter, after experimenting with drab slow motion, speeded-up footage and severe camera angles, finally scores visually with a static shot of Alice alone, sitting on a high-rise fire escape, lost in a vast void of darkness, stone, concrete and steel.

This single shot eloquently and lyrically expresses just how she feels to be single.

“How to Be Single”

★ ★

Starring: Dakota Johnson, Rebel Wilson, Leslie Mann, Alison Brie, Damon Wayans Jr., Anders Holm, Jake Lacy

Directed by: Christian Ditter

Other: A Warner Bros. release. Rated R for language, sexual situations. 110 minutes