A year of insightful and ridiculous sports quotes

Yes, I have returned. For one day. Where did the year go?

I retired in 2008 after 50 years in the sports department with Paddock Publications, but some habits are very hard to break. You're looking at one today.

Just showing up in this space once a year is a blessing for me since I will turn 80 next June and the clock obviously is ticking.

However, until that personal clock shuts down, I hope to keep collecting my favorite sports quotes and then sharing them with you each year.

Of course, I will miss some that you might remember in 2015. Cut me a little slack. I can't spot everything over 12 months.

For those readers who have always said I saved the best for last every year, this is your day. We all need something to smile about in these very challenging times in our world.

I hope I have succeeded today. I hope you enjoy the winners for 2015. The losers on the cutting-room floor aren't bad, but there is just so much space in this newspaper.

Are you ready? These are not listed in any particular order, but compare your No. 1 choice with friends.

The envelope, please.

Larry David, co-creator, with Jerry Seinfeld, of the legendary TV show "Seinfeld" and an avid golfer, when asked what he thought about young PGA star Jordan Spieth: "He's going to be a bald man, wildly bald. It's one thing to handle the back nine at Augusta. Let's see how he does when he sees all that hair in the tub. That's pressure."

David Feherty, golf announcer, talking about Spieth: "He's a mother's dream."

Josh Smith, NBA Clippers forward, on making $6.9 million in 2015-16 after earning more than $10 million each of the last eight seasons: "I do have a family, so it's going to be harder on me this year. But I'm going to push through it."

J.J. Watt, defensive end of the NFL's Houston Texans, on his commitment to football over night life: "A sack is way better than any night club."

Ryan Fitzpatrick, quarterback of the New York Jets, on the lone benefit of injuring his left thumb: "It's painful enough to get me out of changing diapers."

Matt Hasselbeck, Indianapolis Colts quarterback, on his illness leading up to a Thursday night game: "Lots of stuff coming out of the attic, then a lot of stuff coming out of the basement."

Bret Bielema, Arkansas football coach, telling the media after his team beat Ole Miss 53-52, "I'm just looking forward to hopping on the wife." When the laughter died down, he quickly corrected that to "hopping on a plane with my wife."

Carson Cuevas, who scored 32 points as Brimfield won the Illinois Class 1A state basketball championship over Mounds Meridian, when asked by Comcast sideline reporter Michelle McMahon what's next for him now after all this excitement: "I'm going to Disney World, baby!"

Mark Cuban, owner of the NBA's Dallas Mavericks, on the officiating of college basketball during the NCAA Tournament: "It's horrible. It's ridiculous. It's worse than high school. The referees couldn't manage a White Castle."

Jadeveon Clowney of the Houston Texans, recalling the experience of being recruited by Alabama coach Nick Saban: "I was dozing off. He can talk a lot."

Tiger Woods, who turns 40 on Dec. 30, looking back on his golf career: "I peaked at 11. I went 36-0 that year, never lost a tournament, had probably the cutest girlfriend in sixth grade and I had straight A's."

LeBron James of the Cleveland Cavaliers, on overruling coach David Blatt on for the final play against the Bulls: "To be honest, the play that was drawn up, I scratched it. I was supposed to take the ball out. I told coach, 'Give me the ball and everybody get out of the way.' "

Alex Rodriguez of the New York Yankees, summing up his baseball career when asked if he noticed more animosity now at away games: "It's been one long boo for 15 years."

Fay Vincent, former baseball commissioner, on Rodriguez when he returned to the Yankees spring camp after serving a record 162-game ban for PED-related offenses: "I can feel sorry for him because he's so stupid. But I can't really feel sorry for him."

Marshawn Lynch, Seattle Seahawks running back, when finally breaking the silence on the controversial pass play at the one-yard line that led to a Super Bowl-clinching interception for the New England Patriots: "I was expecting the ball."

Michael Bamberger of Sports Illustrated, talking about the solemnity and gravitas that Jim Nantz of CBS brings to the Masters golf telecast: "He is missing the gene for sarcasm and cynicism and makes those Butler Cabin ceremonies feel like papal inaugurations."

Todd Pletcher, thoroughbred trainer whose Materiality chased American Pharoah early before finishing eighth in the Belmont that clinched the Triple Crown: "I wanted to win the race, but in the last eighth of a mile, my whole family and I were cheering for American Pharoah."

Enes Kanter, Oklahoma City Thunder center who requested a trade from the Utah Jazz, when asked what he misses most about Utah: "Mountains. That's about it, I guess."

Dave Pasch, ESPN announcer, responding to his analyst Bill Walton's surprise question during a Pac-12 tournament basketball game: Ever been to a volcano while it's erupting? "That's on the list."

Kobe Bryant of the Los Angeles Lakers, commenting about what led to his torn right rotator cuff when he was leading the team in assists: "This is what happens when I pass too much."

Gregg Popovich, coach of the NBA's San Antonio Spurs, taking yet another shot at the 3-point shot: "I still hate it. I don't think it's basketball. It's kind of like a circus sort of thing. Why don't we have a 5-point shot? A 7-point shot? That's just me, that's just old-school. You better embrace it or you're going to lose."

Paul Kowalczyk, interim University of Illinois AD, not exactly filling everyone with confidence on football coach Bill Cubit's new two-year contract: "It's not ideal for now, but I don't think it will put a dagger in the heart of the program."

Hal Higdon, writer and coach of runners: "The difference between the mile and the marathon is the difference between burning your fingers on a match and being slowly roasted over hot coals."

Kathrine Switzer, women's marathoning pioneer: "If you are losing faith in human nature, go out and watch a marathon."

Joe Newton, legendary York High School coach with 28 state boys cross country titles, as he celebrated on his birthday and his 61st year of coaching, 55 as York's head coach: "I'm 86, but today I feel like I'm 72."

Henrik Stenson of the PGA, after playing at controversial Chambers Bay in the state of Washington in the 115th U.S. Open: "It's pretty much like putting on broccoli."

Rory McIlroy, responding to Stenson's critique of the greens: "I don't think they're as green as broccoli. I think they're more like cauliflower."

Sergio Garcia, adding his analysis of Chambers Bay: "It's like playing the NBA finals on a court with holes and slopes and no backboard."

Gary Player, golfing legend, also taking some shots at the course: "This has been the most unpleasant golf tournament I've seen in my life. The men who designed this course had to have one leg shorter than the other."

Sergio Garcia, playing with Jordan Spieth at the British Open when a Spieth putt stopped a couple of inches from the cup and then went in thanks to a hard gust of wind: "Even when you miss it, you make it."

Lloyd McClendon, former Seattle Mariners manager, who was reluctant to change anything during Hisashi Iwakuma's no-hit 3-0 win against the Orioles: "I'm just glad it's over with, because I had to pee since the fifth inning."

How could I close this 2015 quotes column without a tribute to the legendary Yogi-isms of baseball Hall of Famer Yogi Berra, who died on Sept. 22 at age 90. Here are some of my favorites:

"When you come to the fork in the road, take it."

"It's deja vu all over again."

"It ain't over till it's over."

"Never answer an anonymous letter."

"It gets late early out here."

"Baseball is 90 percent mental. The other half is physical."

"He hits from both sides of the plate. He's amphibious."

"You can observe a lot by watching."

"So I'm ugly. I never saw anyone hit with his face."

"It ain't the heat, it's the humility."

"A nickel ain't worth a dime anymore."

"You should always go to other people's funerals because otherwise, they won't come to yours."

"The future ain't what it used to be."

Thanks, Yogi, and thanks to any Daily Herald readers who reached the end of this annual column. See you next year -- I hope.

Happy New Year!

robertfrisk@comcast.net