Gire: 'SPECTRE' a blunted instrument for Bond
The head of the British secret service, M, once famously referred to agent 007 as "a blunt instrument."
Consider "SPECTRE" a blunted one.
Daniel Craig's fourth outing as James Bond brandishes the franchise expectations: a spectacular opening sequence, all the sexual shenanigans that a PG-13 rating allows, gadgets galore, chase scenes, brutal fights and megalomaniac villains hiding in mammoth, technically sophisticated lairs.
Yet, the 150-minute, soggily edited "SPECTRE" experience feels more tedious than exhilarating, more lumbering than lithe, more weary than wary.
"SPECTRE" makes a quick recovery from Sam Smith's woefully underpowered theme song with a stunningly orchestrated single-tracking shot of 007 and a hottie (Stephanie Sigman) navigating through the masses gathered for Mexico City's Day of the Dead festival.
While on an unauthorized assassination mission, Bond obtains a ring with a curious octopus insignia. This becomes the first of several clues - one secured from pitifully underused Monica Belucci's fetching widow - that lead 007 to the leader, Franz Oberhauser (Christoph Waltz, disappointingly serviceable as the story's baddie), of a mysterious organization.
When Bond meets Austrian contact Dr. Madeleine Swann (Lea Seydoux), she confirms Oberhauser's global operation to be SPECTRE (Special Executive for Counter-intelligence, Terrorism, Revenge and Extortion), a nasty group featured in six earlier 007 movies.
But who is Oberhauser? What can his connection to Bond be? Here, "SPECTRE" continues revelations from 007's early life as begun in Sam Mendes' 2012 critical and commercial hit "Skyfall."
Meanwhile, things look bleak for the new M (Ralph Fiennes). A priggy pol called C (Andrew Scott) closes the Double-O section as an antiquated fixture. C prepares a program allowing several countries to share intel about terrorists. Is this smart?
In equipping 007 for his 24th film adventure (not counting renegade productions of "Casino Royale" and "Never Say Never"), returning director Mendes fails to supply proper amounts of irony and humor to cut the film's relative mirthlessness.
If you're not a James Bond nerd, I suggest you take one with you to see "SPECTRE."
That way, you'll have someone to guide you through the dense subtext of literary and cinematic 007 references cleverly and discreetly planted into the screenplay by "Skyfall" writers John Logan, Neal Purvis and Robert Wade, along with playwright Jez Butterworth,
Look! There's the "From Russia With Love" no-music train compartment fight!
Wow! It's the distorted, reflected image of an attacking assassin from the opening of "Goldfinger."
OMG! That's Ernst Starvo Blofeld's white kitty cat from "You Only Live Twice"!
"SPECTRE" also includes obscure Bondian references from Ian Fleming's short story "The Hildebrand Rarity" and even 007's eardrum torture in Kingsley Amis' novel "Colonel Sun." Quentin Tarantino couldn't have done it better.
Ben Wishaw's youthful Q heads a strong supporting cast, including Naomie Harris' energized Miss Moneypenny plugging up plot transitions.
As a lifelong Bond fan, I was disappointed in the halfhearted Hollywood ending that screams to be the last page of Fleming's book "On Her Majesty's Secret Service." (That's a James Bond ending.)
By the way, just how does 007 steal a DB-10 Aston Martin from MI-6, then transport it to Rome, and British intelligence doesn't notice?
And, how does a character get two holes drilled in the head with no adverse effects?
If filmmakers want Craig's 007 to be a blunt weapon, they should avoid writing material better suited for Roger Moore.
“SPECTRE”
★ ★ ½
Starring: Daniel Craig, Christoph Waltz, Monica Bellucci, Léa Seydoux, Ben Whishaw, Naomie Harris
Directed by: Sam Mendes
Other: An MGM release. Rated PG-13 for language, sexual situations, violence. 130 minutes