Making a successful back-to-school transition

What should be an exciting rite of passage for a child can often be a time filled with worry and trepidation. If your child has special needs, back-to-school time can pose an especially difficult transition time for you both. A new classroom plus new teachers plus new mix of classmates plus new expectations can equal one apprehensive, anxiety-riddled student and one very frustrated parent. Don't wait until the first day of school to help prepare your child for a successful transition. With a little preparation now you can make this rite of passage less overwhelming for both your child and yourself. Together, you can ace this assignment!

Know your child, know yourself

“Children have a history with past transitions. If you bring up going back-to-school too early some don't want to talk about it while others are excited,” says Colleen Hanson, a clinical social worker who has spent many years in the school system and is now in private practice. “Really think about which group your child is in. This will give you a clue as to how and when to begin the transition.

“Keeping your own personal stress level down can also help manage the anxiety level of your child,” recommends Hanson. “As a parent, your level of uneasiness reflects back to them. If they sense your nervousness, it can make them nervous too. So try to stay calm, positive and use positive phrasing when talking about anything related to back-to-school.”

Get organized at home

“Be sure to structure your home environment to support the changes that come with the a new school schedule,” suggests Hanson. “For instance, consider setting up a spot for doing homework and decide where you want backpacks to go.” She also recommends thinking about the morning and bedtime schedules. “Rushing can certainly create more anxiety. Plan on a little extra time in the mornings until everyone gets used to the new schedule. Think about limiting the electronics and starting to move closer to the school days bedtime now to make it easier when school starts.”

Create a social story

All the “new” can bring unpredictability. With the help of a social story, your child can begin to visualize those first days of school. Include the day's routine from the time they wake up in the morning until they go to bed. Morning may include: getting dressed, breakfast and getting on the bus. School time may include: classroom time, gym, lunch and recess. Be sure to highlight your child's favorite part of the day. After school time may include: an afternoon snack, homework time, play time, dinner and bed. Talk about the various parts of the day. Encourage your child to talk about any parts that may be stressful for them. Reviewing this social story often enough will build familiarity.

Arrange early visit

Arrange to visit the school and meet the teacher before the official start of school. Without the chaotic energy of classmates running around, your child can have the luxury of taking his/her time to focus on the surroundings. Visiting with the teacher one-on-one offers an opportunity to get that yearlong relationship off to a good start. Have your child share some of their favorite likes and dislikes with the teacher. If you think it would help, take pictures of the classroom and your child with the teacher to add to your social story.

Partner with your teacher

There may be an inclination at the teacher visit for you to share your thoughts, concerns and issues. Let the visit be about your child bonding with the teacher. Instead, make a separate appointment for you and the teacher to meet. It's an opportunity for you and the teacher to build your own relationship. This is the perfect time to discuss the best way to establish two-way communication, your child's particular idiosyncrasies, what you have found works and what doesn't, how the classroom is run, potential conflicts that might arise, how they will be handled, etc.

Review the IEP

It's been a great summer and you have had a break from having to be on top of your child's Individualized Education Plan (IEP). Now is the time to review it and check in with the school to see that all the accommodations and services are in place. It is also a good time to revisit your goals.

After school schedule reshuffle

After school activities and appointments can upset any routine and become the most stressful time period for anyone. Depending on how much is going on and how your child responds to it, a separate picture schedule can be useful. Include therapies, organized activities, and down time. Reviewing this prior to when the new routine starts can help alleviate stress down the road.

Back-to-school shopping

This can either be fun or frustrating. If your child enjoys picking out new school supplies or clothes, make them a part of it. Go early and avoid crowds. If it is something that your child dreads, simply pick up the essentials and be done with it.

Classmate bonding

One of the blessings and curses of a new school year is that it comes with a new mix of classmates. Sometimes the dynamics change slightly and other times it can be dramatic. Hanson has seen a variety of ways that parents try to help their child bond with classmates. Reconnecting with classmates outside of school can provide a friendly face on that first day. Peer buddies can add comfort but aren't usually in place for the first day of school. Sometimes sensitivity training can be arranged. Hanson has seen both parents and child talk with a class to share information on the disability, needs and behaviors. It can offer a very approachable way to introduce a child and answer any questions classmates may have. It all depends on your comfort level and relationship with the teacher.

Checking the baggage

If you have struggled with teachers, specialists or administrators in the past this can undoubtedly be the trickiest part of a new school year. Just as a new school year brings a fresh start for your child, it can also be one for you and your child's team. “It is a delicate balance for everyone,” says Hanson. “Bringing an open, positive attitude can go a long way in understanding and being in tune with each other.”

Here's to a successful new school year for both your child and you!

• Colleen Hanson, MSW, LCSW, has over 18 years of experience working in private practice, and in public, therapeutic, and private schools. She works with children, adolescents, adults and families specializing in the treatment of anxiety disorders, Asperger's Disorder, ADHD and social cognitive learning challenges. She can be reached at www.colleenhansontherapy.com.

• Sherry Manschot is the marketing/public relations manager at Western DuPage Special Recreation Association. She leads a parent network of special needs families at WDSRA. Manschot can be contacted at sherrym@wdsra.com. More information about WDSRA can be found at wdsra.com.