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Imrem: Please, let this NFL deflategate comedy act continue

If we're lucky, these deflategate follies will continue for a while longer.

Really, it has been so amusing to this point. Real-life slapstick always is so entertaining.

You have Roger Goodell falling over couches like Kramer on “Seinfeld.” You have Tom Brady remaining silent in the media like Harpo Marx in “Duck Soup.” You have the entire NFL getting digging deeper and deeper into trouble like Ralph Kramden in the “Honeymooners.”

Let's get this thing into a courtroom, as Brady has promised he would, and give “Saturday Night Live” more fodder to work with.

Never has so little hot air caused such a comical commotion the way deflategate has.

Except maybe the last time Donald Trump opened his mouth.

Tuesday the NFL upheld Brady's four-game suspension for his part in the Patriots using underinflated footballs.

Four games for that along with allegedly obstructing the investigation? When players involved in domestic battery get four games? When some players sit out four games because they might bruise a toenail?

Such nonsense could happen only in sports and perhaps only the NFL.

What's taking a little bit of air out of a football the equivalent of in the real world? Eating the last piece of pizza on the platter? Not fastening your seat belt tightly enough?

The whole mess has been a crock from the start. It's another example of the NFL not having a clue of how to administer football justice.

The league had no idea whether to lump deflating footballs in with sexual assault. It had no idea whether this is the same as Pete Rose betting on baseball. It had no idea whether to punish Brady like he jaywalked by mistake or drove over a cocker spaniel on purpose. It had no idea whether to clump ball tampering with other Patriots transgressions or treat it as an isolated issue. It had no idea whether to treat a white star like a black journeyman for perception purposes.

From beginning to end, NFL Commissioner Goodell chose to err on the side of absurdity.

Tuesday's ruling demonstrated how fluid the charges have been, from Brady sucking the air out of footballs to him ordering ballboys to commit the dirty deed to him impeding the probe.

Brady destroyed a cellphone containing texts that might incriminate him. One question: What celebrity wouldn't in this age of TMZ?

Somebody would have to be crazy to turn over a phone with texts that might be professionally incriminating but also might be personally humiliating.

Think of a tabloid magazine getting ahold of correspondence between him and his wife.

Remember, this is Tom Brady of New England, not Barney Fife of Mayberry. He's married to a supermodel, not a cotton picker.

Anyway, Brady believes he is being improperly reprimanded and his reputation unfairly besmirched.

It will be difficult to figure out whom to pull for in a lawsuit: Goodell and the NFL or Brady and the Patriots or this set of overpaid attorneys or that set of overpaid attorneys.

Remember, “Night Court” on TV. Deflategate could turn out to be more hilarious than all those episodes combined.

It doesn't matter who wins, likely the NFL. What matters is that the sides whine it out and provide us with more comedy relief in a troubled world.

That's all deflategate is worth. Inspire a few giggles and embarrass everybody that this silliness came to this.

Then all of us can go back to pondering why we are drawn to a sport that's so concussed.

mimrem@dailyherald.com

Western Amateur all set for Rich Harvest Farms

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