Gire: Slapstick triumphs over smarts in 'Minions'
As lovable and cute as those little yellow Minions are, their new movie - appropriately titled "Minions" - comes off significantly less engaging and warmhearted as its predecessors, "Despicable Me" parts 1 and 2.
"Minions" takes place 42 years before those yellow chunks of mischief meet the villainous Gru (played by Steve Carell), who reluctantly adopted three adorable little girls who would change his world for the better.
Unlike "Despicable Me," which featured a dramatic story arc with lessons learned by wonderfully sympathetic characters, "Minions" works more like an expanded Tex Avery slapstick cartoon or a nonstop Roadrunner episode starring a herd of animated Tater Tots with goggles.
Kids will no doubt embrace this Minions movie despite its shortcomings. The movie offers funny stuff like drool, passing gas, nonsensical dialogue, silly voices, being stretched on the rack, being hanged from a gallows, being threatened with execution and, uh. wait. Maybe those parts are for adults.
Nope. In what appears to be a blatant marketing hook for baby boomers, the "Minions" soundtrack grooves to old-school pop tunes from the Doors, Beatles, Stones and other 1960s rock groups. No cheap cover knock-offs, either, but the expensive-to-license originals.
"Minions" begins with a brief history of the titular characters, apparently immortal entities that predate dinosaurs. They exist, as Geoffrey Rush's voice-over narrator tells us, to serve the most evil of all villains. But the little jaundiced tykes must find a worthy evil one first.
After an extended opening sequence in which the Minions accidentally kill a Tyrannosaurus rex, Dracula, Napoleon, a pharaoh and an entire community of Egyptians, the yellow horde is driven into seclusion inside a giant ice cave for many years.
The smartest Minion, Kevin, decides it's time to find the worst villain the world. He, along with hungry Stuart and affable Bob, head out to find their new master, arriving in New York City in 1968.
In quick order, the trio hitchhikes a ride with the Nelson family (Dad voiced by Michael Keaton, Mom voiced by Allison Janney), who all turn out to be gun-wielding bankrobbers (even the kids). But the Nelsons get everybody down to Orlando for the annual Villain-Con convention where the Minions meet their dream master: Scarlet Overkill (voiced by Sandra Bullock, without snorting).
She jets around the arena in a rocket dress, then challenges all-comers to a rock'em, sock'em free-for-all to see if any other villains can snatch a red jewel from her hand.
A Minion does it.
So, Scarlet names the trio as her new hench-thingajigs, just in time for them to help her and her foppish, ultra-mod scientist husband Herb (Jon Hamm) achieve her lifelong dream of stealing Queen Elizabeth's crown in Great Britain.
"Minions," co-directed by French filmmaker Pierre Coffin (Minions creator) and "The Lorax" co-director Kyle Balda, feeds us a constant supply of slapstick violence and pop-tune references (during an escape scene, the Minions emerge from a manhole on Abbey Road just as the Fab Four walk on their heads).
It's amusing enough, yet Bryan Lynch's screenplay fails to humanize the Minions to the point where we can be concerned for their safety or be worried they might actually be in genuine jeopardy.
Those little Minions made terrific supporting players in their two previous adventures. As main stars, they're sporadically comical, yes, but not all that interesting. They don't particularly learn anything or evolve as characters.
Bullock has a delicious time voicing pure villainy, but unlike Disney's Cruella De Vil (who could get away with plotting to kill and skin Dalmatian puppies), the actress has a tough time selling lines such as "You stole my dream!" and "It's an execution!"
Near the end, one of the Minions becomes a giant, struggling to walk through the narrow streets of London.
It's a hilarious concept, especially for anyone who ever wondered what the "Ghostbusters" Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man would have looked like had Dan Aykroyd's Ray Stanz thought about a Twinkie instead.
“Minions”
★ ★ ½
Starring: Sandra Bullock, Jon Hamm, Michael Keaton, Allison Janney, Steve Carell, Steve Coogan, Geoffrey Rush
Directed by: Pierre Coffin and Kyle Balda
Other: A Universal Pictures release. Rated PG. 91 minutes