Grayslake student organizes open mic to talk about autism

"Imagine the most challenging obstacle you could come across in life. Then imagine how awful it would be to experience that and not know how to convey your thoughts and emotions.

"Think about what it would feel like if you physically couldn't control yourself and your raw emotions were displayed through crying, shaking, running, screaming, or just flailing yourself around. Ponder the frustration of not being able to speak your mind because you just don't know how to, bottling up most of your thoughts. Imagine the cruel bullying you would experience throughout your life for something you can't even control.

"That is the life of a person with autism. That is the life of my brother."

Recent Grayslake North High School graduate Mickey Wamser first shared these thoughts - part of a short story he wrote called "The Autistic Normal" - at the 83 Coffee House, organized by the school. An admitted introvert, Mickey said he was thrilled to see his story be so well received by the audience. And he recognized a chance to bring awareness to a disorder not often talked about, a disorder that affects his 15-year-old brother Eddie.

To do so, Mickey organized his own coffee house at the school this spring to allow those who wanted to speak - people with autism, their families, and others who care for them - a chance to share their stories.

And, in turn, give other people an opportunity to learn.

"We're trying to make sure everyone knows what this is so it's not looked as, 'what the heck is wrong with you?'" said Mickey, 18. "You're a normal person. You just have different needs."

Their mom, Nancy, said Eddie had problems early in life. He suffered from a stroke before birth and he was diagnosed with low muscle tone. Once he started to talk, he talked repetitively. He would play alone and be content for hours. There also were delayed speech, eye problems and difficulty writing. The signs, she said, did not match his original diagnosis of low muscle tone and the family asked questions.

Referred to a neurologist, Nancy said, Eddie was diagnosed with autism at age 8.

Growing up, Mickey said, he didn't understand what was wrong with his brother. He didn't understand his difficulties, such as balancing his senses.

"I would give him a tap on the shoulder and he would react that it hurt," Mickey said. "I didn't understand that it actually hurt him."

As he got older, Mickey wanted to be an advocate for awareness. He decided he wanted to organize a coffee house, similar to the one organized by his high school, as a project for his public service practicum class assignment.

"Being around in the education system and being around people our age who don't know about it, you see this lack of knowledge. They don't understand it, and a lot of times push these people away and don't want to learn about it," he said. "It's good that people do learn about it because a lot of kids do end up getting bullied because they are different."

One of the speakers was his mom, who expressed her pride in her family: in Mickey for his strength of character and his voice to bring awareness to autism; in Eddie, who lives with autism heroically and sets an example living confidently; in Grace, her 12-year-old daughter, whose sense of humor lightens the mood and puts things into perspective; and in Mike, her husband of 21 years.

"We are blessed to be an autistic family," Nancy said. "Each of us has a gift to give, and when we unwrap the gift we all partake in the prize."

Natalie Kulig, a neighbor whose daughter, Victoria, has autism, could not attend the open mic, but asked Nancy Wamser to share her observation and advice.

"You can't always see autism. Some people are so good at being normal, no one can tell they are struggling," Kulig wrote. "The moral of the story is be kind and understanding to everyone. You never know what the person is going through."

Jennifer Witkowski, a social worker at Grayslake North, shared the top 10 terrific traits of someone with autism. Among those, people with autism rarely lie, they are passionate and rarely judge others. And the audience got to hear from classmates who Mickey worked with at a special needs camp called Trailblazers through the Round Lake Area Park District.

"The theme was they change us far more than we can ever change them," Mickey said. "They open our eyes and help us view this different world. That isn't a bad thing …"

Mickey said they also got to hear from Cade Heneghan, who he met at the first open mic and who writes and shares poems about his struggle living with autism.

"He wrote five poems just for the coffee house," Mickey said. "He got up there not only to talk, not only to read his poems, but also to talk about his life with autism."

Mickey said that when he shared his plans of the coffee house, the vibe he often got from people who have autism is they were afraid to talk because the disorder is not talked about. As a result, few people get the chance to understand what autism is.

"A lot of people will see a person walking down the hallway, like Eddie, or high functioning people with autism and have no idea. So it's not something they are expressive about," he said.

Eddie, who recently completed his freshman year at Grayslake North, said he is proud of his brother.

"I think it is really good of him to say the stuff he's saying and really opening up other people's minds about autism and other kids who have autism, some who are my friends," Eddie said.

While happy with the success of the open mic, Mickey said he wants to bring classmates together to organize a coffee house each year.

"We're getting the word out, which is the most important part," he said.