Slusher: The snicker factor in news judgment

"Judge not, that ye be not judged" is good biblical advice that I admit I do not take often enough. But it inevitably comes to mind whenever we have one of these celebrity-puts-foot-in-potty-mouth stories, and two such became viral fodder this week, both sports related.

Both also produced the requisite apology, and it's that that poses the most intriguing questions of public interest.

News consumers have long since determined whether such stories are "news." They snap them up and pass them around as fast as their Wi-Fi will carry them. There's no use scratching our heads about why. No, it's not surprising that a baseball manager whose season is off to a rocky start would launch into a an f-bomb peppered tirade, nor that a pampered 28-year-old sports ingénue who just had her car towed would spew snobbish insults at the representative of the towing company. But the actual details are just too juicy. We - or at least many, many of us - can't look away. Then, it's the next step in the progression of these stories that is most curious.

I get that people like to snicker at celebrities behaving badly. I don't get what we or they expect out of the apology.

Here's what Cincinnati Reds Manager Bryan Price tweeted: "In my pregame conversation with reporters yesterday, I used wholly inappropriate language to describe the media coverage of our team. While I stand by the content of my message, I am sorry for the choice of words."

The response begs a host of questions. Is Price saying he doesn't normally talk like that? (He sounded pretty well-practiced in the clip I heard.) That he won't talk like that with reporters again? (Since when are reporters afraid of that word?) That he didn't think his on-the-record conversation would be publicized? (Um, on-the-record.)

Here's the text of ESPN broadcaster Britt McHenry's regret: "In an intense and stressful moment, I allowed my emotions to get the best of me and said some insulting and regrettable things. As frustrated as I was, I should always choose to be respectful and take the high road. I am so sorry for my actions and will learn from this mistake."

Well, let's hope. But the really perplexing thing here is what we readers expect from these apologies. Does anyone truly think Bryan Price is not going to use that word so much anymore? Do we expect that refraining from raw exhibitions of her personal character will somehow affect Britt McHenry's incisive sports commentary?

Methinks the answers are no and no. And more curiously, I don't think anyone believes there's any sincerity in either statement - nor in the many iterations of these public mea culpas about embarrassing behaviors that in some fashion - and let's be honest with each other now - we all can be guilty of.

This line of reasoning leads me to the uneasy conclusion that the whole business is a pretense. We pretend sports stars aren't vulgar (Ozzie Guillen, anyone?) or that celebrities don't condescend to the masses. When they get caught doing what we know they do, they pretend to apologize and we pretend to accept it.

The most relevant question that I hope we get to someday is actually pretty simple. These things are going to happen, and they're going to continue to go viral. So, fine. Can't we all just snicker and move on?

Jim Slusher, jslusher@dailyherald.com, is an assistant managing editor at the Daily Herald. Follow him on Facebook at facebook.com/jim.slusher1 and on Twitter at @JimSlusher.