Bob Frisk: Best Sports Quotes of 2014
Good morning. I am back. For one day.
When I retired in 2008 after 50 years with the Daily Herald, I retired from writing. I was exhausted from all those years in front of a typewriter or computer trying to be creative.
However, there was this one exception. I wanted to continue my adventure over 12 months of looking for sports quotes that would serve as a holiday present to our readers. We all need something to smile about in a world that is very challenging right now.
I am asked repeatedly over the year how my annual quotes story is coming, and I even have friends who keep hoping to say something clever and worthy of making my final list.
The hard work centers on the discipline and persistence required in the 12-month research process. Of course, I probably have missed some of your favorites. I realize some sports get little attention, if any. I wish I could find more quotes from women. I also am not sure why golf always is the leader in the clubhouse.
Welcome to the 2014 version of the funny, witty and, yes, even sarcastic quotes from our wonderful sports world.
• Lou Holtz, legendary football coach, talking about his days at Notre Dame with quarterback Steve Beurlein: “Steve once asked me, 'Just how slow am I?' I said, 'If you raced a pregnant woman, you'd finish third.' ”
• Jay Cutler, Bears quarterback, asked what he thought about his jersey being burned by Bears' fans while also recalling his days in Denver: “It's not the first time.”
• Doug Buffone, Bears linebacker from 1966-79, on WSCR radio after Green Bay beat Chicago 55-14: “I'd rather watch soccer. It could have been maybe 80 points. They felt sorry for the little cubbie bears.”
• Ed O'Bradovich, Bears defensive end from 1962-71, on the same Score broadcast after that Packers game: “Discipline? Those morons don't know even know to spell the word.”
• Joakim Noah, Bulls center, on why he really plays the game: “When I come to the game, I see the guy selling newspapers on the street. When he sees me driving by, he's excited. He's like, 'All right, let's go Bulls. Let's get it done tonight.' I feel like I play for that guy. When I look up in the top of the arena, I see that guy who looks this big and he's up cheering, jumping up and down. That's the guy I play for.”
• Peyton Manning, Denver quarterback, on having his NFL legacy defined by the Super Bowl: “I've been asked about my legacy since I was 25 years old, and I am not even sure you have a legacy at 25 or even 37. I thought you had to be 70.”
• Megan Pettine, daughter of Cleveland Browns coach Mike Pettine, on the possibility of her dad getting that head coaching gig: “It's the Browns, but, hey, it's still pretty cool.”
• Rick Barnes, Texas basketball coach, after an 85-54 loss at Kansas: “Topeka YMCA would have given them a better game.”
• Mike Mitchell, Carolina safety, after the Panthers lost to the 49ers in the playoffs: “I want to play them again with a new set of refs.”
• Jordan Spieth, No. 9 in the World Golf ranking, on competing in his first Masters at Augusta and the amazing golf education of the entire week: “This is Harvard, Yale, the whole Ivy League.”
• Aaron Rodgers, Green Bay quarterback, on how to prepare to play in cold weather games: “Eat a lot of chicken noodle soup.”
• Luci Li, the 11-year-old Californian, sixth-grader and golfing prodigy, when asked in her first news conference after shooting a 78 in the U.S. Women's Open what she was going to do the rest of the day: “Eat some ice cream.”
• Charlie Pape, a 12-year-old who somehow butted into Oregon football coach Mark Helfrich's postgame news conference to talk about quarterback Marcus Mariota's future and was asked by Helfrich what the talk was around his school: “There's Jesus, there's girls and there's Marcus Mariota.”
• Richard Petty, asked whether Danica Patrick would ever win a NASCAR Sprint Cup race: “If everybody else stayed home.”
• Jameis Winston, Florida State quarterback, at the BCS national championship game: “One thing I can tell you about history, it's in the past.”
• Dan Monson, Long Beach State basketball coach, on UC Irvine's 7-foot-6 Mamadov Noiaye, after a loss to the Anteaters: “He even altered shots when he wasn't in the game.”
• Darlous Moten, a 6-foot-6 forward, after his 14th-seeded Mercer team shocked Duke 78-71 in the NCAA basketball tournament: “I'm never going to shower again. Ever. I never want to take off this uniform”
• Sergio Garcia, who has won over 20 international golf tournaments as a pro, after his girlfriend decided to stop caddying for him on The PGA Tour: “I wanted to keep going but she fired me.”
• Johnny Miller, golf legend and NBC broadcaster, on the slow play of Andrew Loupe in the Valero Texas Open: “If everyone on tour played like him, I'd quit announcing.”
• Richard Sherman, Seattle All-Pro cornerback, on rival 49ers receiver Michael Crabtree, after a Seahawks' victory: “I'm just glad we sent him back to the Heartbreak Hotel.”
• Michael Strahan, ex-defensive end and now a TV talk show host, when Warren Sapp cast doubt on his NFL Hall of Fame candidacy: “The tiger does not pay attention to the opinion of the sheep.”
• Jason Giambi, on his life in professional baseball at age 43: “I'll be the only player in the league collecting a pension and still playing.”
• Doc Rivers, NBA Clippers coach, after designing a defense that took away Houston's 3-point ability in a 101-93 victory: “Even when I was at Marquette, I knew that two was less than three.”
• Devan Dubnyk, NHL goalie, when asked what role his new team had for him after he was traded: “To stop pucks.”
• Martin Brodeur, goalie in the NHL since 1992, after watching old rival Sean Lowe get eliminated on “Dancing with The Stars”: “What more can he do to embarrass himself?”
• Terrell Owens, former NFL receiver, after an earthquake hit Los Angeles as he was visiting: “Can I get someone to come cuddle with me? I'm from Alabama, we don't get stuff like this.”
• Carling Nolan, a former winner of Golf Channel's “Big Break,” about where her career stands: “I think I could be one of the top golfers, or I could be working at IHOP next week.”
• Andrew Matthews, Great Britain bobsledder, on pre-race routine at the Olympics: “We eat as much as possible and then slap each other in the face.”
• Luis Suarez, Uruguay striker, on his excuse for biting Italy's Giorgio Chiellini, at the World Cup: “I lost my balance, making my body unstable and falling on top of my opponent. At that moment, I hit my face against the player, leaving a small bruise on my cheek and a strong pain in my teeth.”
• Ted Ligety, U.S. skier, after he finished 10th in the Super Combined at the Sochi Olympics: “I choked, to put it simply.”
• Jillert Anema, Dutch speedskating coach, on why the United States team was shut out in the Olympics: “You have a lot of attention for foolish sport, like American football. You waste a lot of talent, athletic talent in a sport where it's meant to kill each other, injure each other.”
• A. J. Pierzynski, 17-year MLB veteran, when he was asked as a Boston Red Sox catcher what he said to the umpire to warrant an ejection that night: “Give me a new ball. One you can see.”
• Johnny Bench, baseball Hall of Famer, on what separates golf legend Arnold Palmer from all other professional athletes: “He's never heard a boo.”
• Juan (Chi Chi) Rodriguez, legendary former PGA star, on the guts it takes to play professional golf: “That's why I always admired Arnold Palmer. If you put the flag on the Titanic, he'd go for it.”
• Rodriguez again: “When Tiger Woods is not in a tournament, it's like 'Gunsmoke' without Matt Dillon.”
• Don January, who turned pro in 1956 and won 10 PGA Tour titles in his career, on the changes in the sport from when he was a golf star: “Back when I played, our sports psychologist was called a bartender.”
• John Henry, Red Sox owner, responding to the Marlins' demand that Boston apologize for sending a lineup full of prospects to a Grapefruit League game: “They should apologize for their regular season lineup.”
• J.J. Watt, Houston Texans defensive end, when asked the simple question of who was the first man to walk on the moon: “Lance Armstrong? Louie Armstrong - no, that's the singer. This is bad. This is exactly what I feared. Everybody is laughing at me now.”
• Craig Robinson, now a basketball analyst for ESPN, addressing the media after his Oregon State team lost to Radford: “If I get fired, it's been nice knowing you guys.”
• Jerry Jones, Dallas Cowboys owner, on the advice Washington owner Dan Snyder gave him on how to handle a losing season: “Drink a lot.”
• Steve Wieborn, on his weekly preparation as a member of the College Football Playoff selection panel to decide the four teams to play for the national title: “It's not a bad way to spend a Saturday. You get up and say, 'OK, honey, I'm going to plop myself down here in front of the television. I'll see you Sunday morning.”
• Phil Martelli, Saint Joseph's basketball coach, after a long game: “I got engaged in less time than the media timeouts. They're too long. I don't have anything left to tell them.”
• Randy Wittman, NBA coach for the Washington Wizards, after his team's 134-129 triple-overtime win against the Raptors: “My feet and back are hurting, and I didn't even play.”
• Beccy Hunter-Deay, wife of Indianapolis 500 winner Ryan Hunter-Deay, when asked if their 1-year-old son, Ryden, will one day be wearing a racing suit like that of his father: “I hope he's a golfer.”
• John Daly, two-time major champion on the PGA Tour, when asked how much money he has lost gambling: “I was shocked. I thought it might be $20 to $25 million, but I had no idea it was $55 to $57 million.”
• Daly again after his misadventures on the 16th hole during the second round of the Valspar Championship: “Hey, it was a good 12. I got up and down for a 12.”
• Elin Nordegren, ex-wife of Tiger Woods, speaking as outstanding graduating senior at the Rollins College commencement, about a media and communications class she took right before Woods' public scandal: “I probably should have taken more notes in that class.”
• Michael Bamberger of Sports Illustrated, when Tom Watson named Keegan Bradley, Hunter Mahan and Webb Simpson as his three Ryder Cup captain's picks: “Is nobody named Bob anymore?”
Yes, there is, Michael. And I'm proud of my name.
I hope these quotes from 78-year-old Bob provided a few smiles. I also hope I see you again in this space when Bob is 79.
Happy New Year!
robertfrisk@comcast.net