Getting from 'humbug' to 'halleluiah'
"Assembly required" used to put fear in me - especially during the Christmas season when putting gifts together under the tree for the kids - but "recalculating" is the new word I fear the most now in my seasoned years of life.
Christmas is a hard time for many people. Holidays are markers and reminders of losses and past gatherings that we have experienced. Perhaps a loved one who has always been with us to celebrate Christmas is not with us this year. Or someone died last year, or a relationship ended, or a dear friend or family member moved away. This might be a Christmas where we are all alone, or one in which financial difficulties are magnified. This might be a Christmas overshadowed by significant health issues.
In my ministry with Rosecrance, I often visit our kids and adults in treatment working on addiction issues and or mental health concerns. Listening to families and addicted individuals is a joy for me. People often ask me how I can do that day after day; for me and many others it's all about finding joy. In reality, however, you cannot find joy - it has to find you. Joy is always the byproduct of something else.
As the various versions of the Prayer of Saint Francis put it, we can never attain joy, consolation, peace, forgiveness, love and understanding by actively pursuing them. We attain them by giving them out. That's the great paradox at the center of every breath we take. We breathe in, and breathe out. We receive and take. In a way, we share what God has given us.
The Bible uses the Hebrew word ruah, which means breath, or spirit. The air that we breathe out is the air we will eventually breathe back in. Joy will come to us if we set about actively trying to create it for others.
Here's a rather obvious idea. Why not truly make the meaning of Christmas your guiding star - a GPS of sorts for this time of year? The star of Christmas often points in very different directions during life. What follows is a list I was given once, and it's now your gift to give to another. Specifically, it points the way toward everyday Christmases by reminding us that:
• Presence is more important than presents.
• The best gifts cannot be purchased at a store.
• The Light is stronger than any darkness or sadness we may be experiencing at this time.
• Spending time with or making things for friends and family is a holy gift.
• Caroling with and for others is a gift for the soul as is the gift of visiting someone who is alone.
• Giving a gift of time or money to a local cause or charity can mean more than any material gift we might buy.
• The vulnerability of sharing with others any sadness we are experiencing creates an experience of love and intimacy, which is, of course, the heart of what everyday Christmas is all about.
• Listening, loving and caring are the greatest gifts we can share.
The most important thing to keep in mind this season is not just what we do or give to one another, but is that we have been given the greatest gift of all, the gift of love by God. If you find yourself feeling stressed, take a moment to assess the star - your GPS - and how it's truly influencing your mindset and choices. As with any journey, the star we use to guide our way every day makes all the difference as to where we end up. If we choose wisely - recalculate, assemble a few things - and gaze upon the star not just now but over the years, our lives will move from "humbug" to "hallelujah" and will be able to fill with authentic joy, peace and love.
• The Rev. Jim Swarthout is clergy community relations coordinator for Rockford-based Rosecrance, a not-for-profit behavioral health organization, which has several offices in Chicago's suburbs.