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Constable: When singles rule the majority

A half-century ago, single adults weren't just a distinct minority in the United States, they were considered freaks.

A 1957 University of Michigan survey found that 80 percent of Americans thought adults who didn't want to get married were “neurotic,” “immoral,” or just plain old “sick,” began a 2012 Fortune magazine article about the growing number of unmarried Americans.

Today, as we celebrate the end of national “Unmarried and Single Americans Week,” new evidence shows that the United States, for the first time, is home to more single adults than married adults.

“I have no problems being single. I can come and go as I please,” says Jo Ann Cozza, 53, a single woman who bought a home with her divorced younger sister last year in Hoffman Estates after a lifetime of living in Chicago. “You can travel as you wish. You're not tied down to one person.”

Using data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, a Bloomberg report estimated that 125 million Americans (50.2 percent of the population age 16 or older) are single. Similar research by Charlotta Mellander at the Martin Prosperity Institute found that Illinois is one of 27 states where adults are more likely to be single than married. Louisiana topped that list with 55.7 percent of the adult population unmarried, while Utah, with 43.7 percent of the population single, ranked as the most-married state.

Once stereotyped as a congregation of nuclear families with dad, mom, boy, girl and a golden retriever, the suburbs boast plenty of happy single people.

“There are limitless things to do in the suburbs. You meet a lot of good people,” says Harry Mattson, president of the 630 Singles. Named after one common suburban area code and founded in 1995 in Naperville as a spinoff from a divorce-support group, the club is booming. About 50 dues-paying members meet the first Friday of every month at Arrowhead Golf Club in Wheaton and participate in bowling, skiing, rafting, picnics, hayrides, other events, and annual Super Bowl and Halloween parties.

The online world of meetup has added 300 potential new members and forced the club to go by the name 630 Singles and Social Club, to reinforce the idea that it is not a dating agency.

“We're not trying to hook people up. We're just trying to have fun,” says Mattson, 59, who lives in Westmont and has never married. “It's definitely not a dating club. It's comfort. I'll just hang out and have fun. There is so much going on in the suburbs, I'm usually busy every day.”

The biggest difference between being single in the suburbs and single in the city is “free parking,” Mattson says.

With more singles in the suburbs, business also has been good for services that cater to a single adult trying to find a future spouse.

“We've definitely seen a growth, especially in the suburbs, since the suburbs have a lot more to offer than they used to,” says Jenn Dellwo, office manager and matchmaker for “It's Just Lunch,” which has been matching up singles for 23 years.

Many of today's singles come from the marriage world or remain in serious relationships. Some have kids. Many point out that being single is a choice.

“I enjoy it. I like the freedom. I like to do things my own way,” says Rosemary Mayka, 68, who is divorced, lives in Wheaton and is the mother of four successful adults. “I don't feel the need to be married.”

Married at 23, Mayka says she remembers “feeling old,” because all of her peers already were married with kids.

“If you are pressured to have kids, just visit your sister with triplets,” laughs Cozza, who says she loves having fun with her 38 nieces and nephews, without having the responsibility for them. She's taken them to Disney World and Disneyland and provided just enough discipline to be called “Mean Aunt Jo” at times. An outgoing, vivacious woman known for her sense of humor, Cozza considered marriage.

“I was engaged three times, and Judge Wapner said I could keep the rings,” says Cozza, who works for a tool factory in Lincolnshire. “I've been several times to Acapulco by myself, and I have no problem meeting people.”

The financial clout of single adults has changed dramatically in a generation, as single breadwinners spend more than married people.

“They have their own money. They don't have to depend on someone else,” Mattson says. “People feel more independent.”

“I wouldn't change a thing. The only problem is when I'm old and gray, who's going to take care of me?” asks Cozza, who was the caretaker for her mother until she died in 2011. “But we've got a real close-knit family.”

The world for singles has changed so much, but Cozza recalls signing a loan document a few years ago that insisted on labeling her with an antiquated term for unmarried women.

“I was called a spinster,” Cozza says, assuring that the 18th-century word doesn't fit the 21st-century single woman or her female friends. “We still have Girls Nights Out. And we party like rock stars.”

Drawing about 50 dues-paying members to most events, the 630 Singles club is growing as the United States now is home to more single adults than married folks. Courtesy of 630 Singles
Not a dating service, the 630 Singles club out of Naperville is all about just having fun, says club President Harry Mattson, who pals around here with another club member during an Oktoberfest party. Courtesy of 630 Singles
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