Just what are our cats thinking?

When we watch our felines in action and observe their silly antics, sometimes it is difficult to understand what motivates them.

I usually attribute good notions for the silly or naughty things they do. I assume (perhaps incorrectly) that their behavior is for my benefit and for my entertainment. Don't you wish they could tell us what they are thinking?

Perhaps it would not be so favorable for us. Maybe our behavior is as puzzling to them as they are to us. Let us look at our behavior from the cats' perspective. It might go something like this:

We love to play on the top of the stairs. You ask why? We love to dart and weave through your legs when you are at the top. It might be funny to see you fall down the steps. This would be the only time you would be faster than us.

In case you have not figured it out, we do this as a team. One of us approaches from the front and the other brings up the rear. In case you also haven't noticed, those fuzzy mice you keep buying are left on the stairs on purpose to help us with the task at hand.

The wand toys are hauled up the stairs for added measure. By the way, why do you buy those dangling toys that do not have any food at the other end?

We also have to address the food arrangement. I smell fresh chicken, steak and fish cooking daily. My meals are reduced to this dry stuff that looks like bad cereal. Sometimes this dry stuff has so much food coloring in it, I thought they were Froot Loops. That stuff is hard to choke down.

If these arrangements do not improve revenge will be plotted. Let's see, there is the new chair to attack, or perhaps another houseplant must meet its maker.

We also love when you tell us you are confining us to one room for our own good. We are not stupid! You put us in solitary confinement for punishment. Do you think we can't hear all the noise of revelry and good food smells right under our noses.

You also vaguely mentioned something about allergies. This sounds like a good power to have over humans. We need to figure out how to use this to our advantage. More importantly, we need to exact more revenge for this solitary confinement. A hairball needs to be carefully placed at the foot of the bed in the middle of the night.

Lastly, the rest of nonhuman occupants or the house are either half-witted, clueless or tattles. The dog is let out multiple times a day and he happily returns with his tail wagging and his tongue slobbering. What is he telling them about me?

If you ask me, the bird is the true informant because he is always talking to the humans, and he even has his own house. Now you know why we felines must gang up on the humans. We see the world differently than all the rest of the household occupants.

Featured felines:

Misty was found wandering the streets in the neighborhood and brought to Buddy by a good Samaritan who kept seeing the cat outside looking for its next meal. Misty, a 3-year-old, black, domestic shorthair is very friendly. Misty loves to be petted and sit in your lap, is very playful and gets along with other cats.

Sparkle was found outside roaming the streets of Chicago. Sparkle is a black and white domestic shorthair, who is only 3 years old. She can be very shy at first, but once she warms up to you, she is very sweet.

• The Buddy Foundation is a nonprofit (501c3), all-volunteer, no-kill animal shelter dedicated to the welfare of stray, abused and abandoned cats and dogs. For more information, call (847) 290-5806 or visit www.thebuddyfoundation.org.