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So many baseball questions, so few answers

For openers, some baseball questions that beg answers:

Has there ever been less buzz for the beginning of a baseball season in Chicago?

Could the Cubs and White Sox be so unseasonably cold by June that we'll wish we were back in February shoveling snow?

Might the Bears draft Jose Abreu to be the 3-technique tackle every Tampa-2 defense needs?

Can we assume that after a tough loss Tom Ricketts doesn't hum to the Drifters' lyrics, "Right smack dab in the middle of town … I found a paradise that's trouble-proof … up on the roof … "

Shouldn't the Sox play the Yankees in Australia to finish the season so all those baseball-rabid Aussies could wish Paul Konerko and Derek Jeter a fond farewell?

Will the Cubs or Sox surprise us, overachieve, catch every ball possible, catch every break possible, have every player on the roster enjoy a career year and nearly finish .500?

Do you wonder whether the Cubs' jayvees ever will be promoted to the varsity?

Is it possible that current Little League shortstops will reach the big leagues before Javier Baez does?

Is this the year that Big Papi finally becomes Big Popup?

Was Emilio Bonificio formerly a utility player with the Marlins or The Other Guy in The Three Tenors?

How long before Miguel Cabrera Inc. and Mike Trout Ltd. merge?

Isn't Avisail Garcia being overlooked a bit too much amid the hype for all the other prospects on both sides of town?

How did the Sox wind up so left-handed on the mound and so right-handed at the plate?

Are you at the point that you would rather see Marcus Semien at second base for the Sox than Gordon Beckham anyway?

If Adam Eaton hits for the cycle will it mean that he ran into the wall in every AL Central ballpark?

Shouldn't somebody named Xavier Bogaerts be a percussionist in a jazz orchestra instead of an infielder with the Red Sox?

Bryce Harper might be viewed as most overrated, but wouldn't every team in the major leagues like to have him?

How relieved is Adam Dunn that the poll wasn't for most overpaid?

How many children will Mariano Rivera save from burning buildings in his spare time this summer?

Are two languages enough for Ricky Renteria to get through to Starlin Castro?

Will the new Cubs manager's first name keep changing from Ricky back to Rick to Ricardo to Rickerino to Richard to Richie to the Richmeister … to Ralph?

Can we assume that madcap Robin Ventura never will host "Saturday Night Live"?

How many times will Jeff Samardzija be traded before the July 31 deadline?

Will selling the naming rights to Wrigley Field lead to something like Wrigley Field Museum Ballpark or Wrigley Field and Stream Stadium or Mrs. Wrigley Field's Cookie Kitchen?

Do I need a reason to type Tanaka other than I like the sound of Tanaka almost as much as I liked Fukudome?

When their payroll hits $1 billion will the Los Angeles Dodgers' name legally change to the Lo$ Angele$ Dodger$?

What if the Cubs' prospects advertised as the Core Four turn out to be the Rotten to the Core Four?

Is there a Richie Incognito lurking in some Major League Baseball clubhouse somewhere?

Why wasn't one of Chicago's baseball teams ever smart enough to hire underrated A's manager Bob Melvin?

Semifinal question: Edwin Jackson?

Final question: How long will it take baseball's new instant-replay rules to reverse this entire column?

mimrem@dailyherald.com

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