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Crying ‘fowl’ over total chicken ban

How dare you chicken people ruffle the feathers of our village trustees in Arlington Heights? Your persistence has come home to roost by way of the trustees reworking the village ordinance to exclude chickens forever.

There will be no more clucking on this issue nor will the trustees be henpecked any longer by you on this topic, discussion closed. There are bigger chickens to fry than wasting time in dialogue with village residents. This is chicken feed compared to all the ash trees dying in town — 37 percent of our trees by the way.

Take your visions of backyard, cage-free eggs to one of those left-wing liberal towns like Oak Park, Chicago, New York City or Evanston, where they allow the raising of chickens. People flock to Marianos for their eggs and I even hear they have an organic section. You might just find brown eggs there too!

Nothing like stirring up the chicken coop to remind this village how important it is to stay true to our conservative, homogeneous values. Look, we gave you all the right to compost in Arlington Heights a couple of years ago and that just reeks of sustainability and environmentalism.

Don’t put all your eggs in one basket and remember that when it comes to the Village of Arlington Heights, birds of a feather flock together.

Scott Jamieson

Arlington Heights

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