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Guillen laughs off rumors of possible firing

NEW YORK — Ozzie Guillen has heard the rumors that his job may be in trouble.

“Ha. Ha. Ha,” the Miami manager said Friday. “That’s the last thing going through my mind every day, if I’m going to have a job next year. I’m going to have a job. I don’t know if it’s managing the Marlins, but I will have a job. I don’t know if it’s managing in the big leagues, but I will have a job.”

Miami began the night 66-84, fighting with the New York Mets for last place in the NL East. Not exactly what Marlins owner Jeffrey Loria expected after hiring Guillen last fall and then spending $191 million in a five-day span during the offseason to sign All-Stars Jose Reyes, Mark Buehrle and Heath Bell.

The team, renamed from the Florida Marlins, moved into a $634 million retractable-roof ballpark and agreed to star in a Showtime reality series, “The Franchise.” The season started coming apart when Guillen was suspended for five games in April following comments praising Cuban leader Fidel Castro, infuriating the Miami-area Cuban community.

“If Jeffrey thinks I don’t do the job I should do, it’s not the first time he fired the manager,” Guillen said. “I know if it’s going to be easier for him to fire another one. I don’t worry about that. I expect to be back 100 percent.”

But if he’s not, he has only one worry.

“The worst thing about my job is pack my house in Miami,” he said. “I’ve got a lot of clothes. But after that, nope.”

As the team failed to contend, the Marlins traded Hanley Ramirez, Omar Infante, Anibal Sanchez, Edward Mujica and Gaby Sanchez. Guillen said all the decision-makers in the organization were at fault for the poor record.

“We all failed and we’re all responsible about this,” he said. “It’s not about that guy, this guy, that guy, this guy. We all failed. We all thought stuff was going to be better for us. It wasn’t. It wasn’t. We might have picked the wrong guys. We might pick the wrong team. We might have spent the money on the wrong people. Just name it.”

Still, he wouldn’t say dollars were given to the wrong players.

“I didn’t spend money on anyone. ... I spend my money on women. I don’t spend my money on guys,” he said. “At the winter meetings, the expectation was really very, very, very high, with the players, with the manager, with the new park, with the new logos, with new faces and new things. Well, maybe we learn from the experience. It’s not about new and expectation, it’s about how people perform on the field, and we have to figure out to pick the right people, the right players to perform on the field.”

He maintained everything possible went wrong this season.

“No pitching. No coaching. No managing,” he said. “When the manager makes a move and the move no work out the right way, you’re a dumb manager. That’s the way it is. And when you’re in last place, you’re very dumb because every move you make all year long and every lineup you write, it was the wrong lineup.”

If not impressed by his players’ performance, he was by their physiques. Giancarlo Stanton posted pictures on Twitter of the team’s rookies dressed as water polo players in Times Square.

“You see those guys’ bodies? I showed it to my wife, and she took a look twice. ... You see we have a team with a great body, but not with talent. You see those guys, you see those pictures? My wife take it, they should be a porno star or something,” he said. “I know a lot of women, they want to be around this ballclub because they have nice bodies. They do. Wow. My players are in better shape than the people who went to the Olympics. You see those guys’ abs? That’s unbelievable. ...

“We have great bodies. We drink coconut water every day. We eat salad, organic food. And we’re in last place.”

NOTES: Stanton missed his third straight game because of a strained muscle in his side. Guillen said Stanton also won’t play Saturday afternoon. “He’s not a Spider-Man to be ready tomorrow,” he said.

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