Breaking News Bar
posted: 8/25/2012 10:04 AM

Secret to a healthy marriage: finding the time

hello
Success - Article sent! close
 
 

What is the one absolutely necessary ingredient for a healthy marriage?

Time.

Order Reprint Print Article
 
Interested in reusing this article?
Custom reprints are a powerful and strategic way to share your article with customers, employees and prospects.
The YGS Group provides digital and printed reprint services for Daily Herald. Complete the form to the right and a reprint consultant will contact you to discuss how you can reuse this article.
Need more information about reprints? Visit our Reprints Section for more details.

Contact information ( * required )

Success - request sent close

In fact, every other quality or characteristic we find in marriages that work can be present only if time is there first.

It takes time to get comfortable with each other. Certainly we never want to lose completely that sense of newness, of mystery, of excitement that was part of our dating and newlywed life together. Yet there is also a need to be relaxed, without pretense, be at home with each other.

It takes time to talk things through, clear up misunderstandings, negotiate conflict. Two people cannot live together for any length of time with any degree of intimacy without needing to talk, understand and even disagree.

And it takes time, as much time as we can possibly carve out of our too often hectic, even overwhelming, lives to be close. To be physically emotionally and spiritually intimate with another person requires that we make time together the first priority, not an afterthought or luxury.

I'm not going to pretend that finding time is anything but a difficult task.

In the marriage counseling I do, "not enough time" is always one of the top two or three challenges couples mention, as well as one of the characteristics of their lives that they find most difficult to change.

It takes time to carry on the day-to-day, often mundane but usually necessary, business of marriage and family life. Doing the laundry, paying the bills, cleaning up the rec room, shopping for groceries, going to two or three jobs and working long hours, not to mention the plague of kids' activities that consume so much of family life, all take up hours upon hours of our days and weeks.

Despite all this, our marriages still require -- and deserve -- significant time in our lives.

Perhaps in our wedding vows we ought to add a clause committing us simply to find time to be married. It's not too late to make that vow today.

Share this page
Comments ()
Guidelines: Keep it civil and on topic; no profanity, vulgarity, slurs or personal attacks. People who harass others or joke about tragedies will be blocked. If a comment violates these standards or our terms of service, click the X in the upper right corner of the comment box. To find our more, read our FAQ.