Parenting philosophy promotes attachment, play
In Patricia Mackie's home, there are no timeouts.
Her children never cry themselves to sleep and discipline is different from punishment.
Mackie uses a philosophy called Attachment Parenting to guide how she and her husband care for Delilah, who's almost 3, and Asher, 8 months.
“It just feels right. I don't ever feel like I'm fighting my own instincts,” Mackie said.
Mackie leads a group of about 80 Naperville-area parents who follow Attachment Parenting's principles of providing consistent and nurturing care to help children trust their needs will be met.
The group is sponsoring a Families At Play celebration Sunday as part of a monthlong effort to promote Attachment Parenting and the benefits of playing together for both children and parents.
“Together” is the key word, said Diana Torres Hawken, an Aurora woman with a 10-month-old daughter who follows Attachment Parenting and attends meetings of Mackie's Naperville-area group.
“Attachment Parenting promotes the relationship-building versus distracting the kids,” she said.
Sometimes the “attachment” is literal. The philosophy encourages, but does not require, parents to wear their babies in carriers and sleep with them in the same room or bed.
“It's just being in tune with my baby,” said Torres Hawken, 30. “(Attachment Parenting) just gave a name to the things we were already doing.”
Also among the philosophy's core beliefs are using nurturing touch, feeding children with love and respect, ensuring safe sleep and using positive discipline.
“Attachment parenting is really getting back to the basics of being a parent,” said Mackie, 27. “We just really encourage the true sense of discipline, which is to teach the child.”
An organization called Attachment Parenting International connects about 60 groups like Mackie's in the U.S. and other countries that meet regularly to support each other and discuss child care techniques.
The organization's website provides information about safe sleep strategies, breast-feeding, bottle feeding, using baby-wearing carriers safely, sibling bonding and relating to teens with empathy.
“One of the core elements of API is about providing research-based information,” said Art Yuen, development coordinator for Attachment Parenting International. “Parents not only want to learn but really need support.”
While Mackie and Torres Hawken both are stay-at-home mothers, Mackie said fathers and working parents can be involved in Attachment Parenting as well.
For working parents, it's important to find a consistent day care provider whom the child can trust. And fathers can follow the same techniques of positive discipline and nurturing touch when they are interacting with their children, Mackie said.
“We always encourage what works best for you and your family,” she said.
The Naperville-area group is working to start a weekend play date so fathers can have more time to play with their kids, Mackie said.
And all members of area families are invited to learn more about Attachment Parenting at the Families at Play event from noon to 3 p.m. Sunday at Judd Kendall VFW Post 3873, 908 W. Jackson Ave., Naperville.