Cubs tough to watch even for players

Maybe Starlin Castro was delivering a memo to Tom Ricketts over the weekend.

From: Cubs shortstop

To: Cubs chairman

Dear Mr. Ricketts,

This baseball team is really hard to watch.

Sincerely,

Your darlin' Starlin

Castro was caught on national television contemplating something other than baseball as the Cubs' pitcher was about to throw a pitch.

Who could blame the 21-year-old? A lot of fans also can't stand to watch the Cubs and are avoiding Wrigley Field even after paying big bucks for tickets.

This reminds me of what a national baseball writer emailed me after Carlos Zambrano retired in midgame: “Anyone smart enough to walk on the Cubs deserves a spot on my team.”

A pattern is developing here. One player loses interest while on the field. Another leaves the clubhouse before an umpteenth Cubs loss can be completed.

What's next?

Well, maybe Cubs manager Mike Quade gets himself ejected from every game the rest of the season so he doesn't have to witness the nonsense for a full nine innings.

During a 1993 game, Reds pitcher Tom Browning climbed up to a rooftop across from Wrigley Field in full uniform.

Maybe Cubs relievers will move the bullpen to the top of one of the buildings across Waveland to get as far away from the eyesore as baseball's collective-bargaining agreement will allow.

We're getting pretty close to September, when minor-leaguers normally are thrilled to receive that cherished call-up to the parent club.

Maybe Cubs prospects will say “thanks, but no thanks” and choose instead to return home to harvest the fall crops on the family farm.

Surely I jest.

Still, the Castro incident was almost as revealing as Zambrano saying he would forfeit his $18 million salary for 2012 because he couldn't stand being a Cub any longer.

Zambrano changed his mind and Castro apologized, but the damage was done.

ESPN announcer Bobby Valentine berated the Cubs' foundation of the future for doing something a Little Leaguer shouldn't do.

Valentine's point probably had less to do with Castro and more to do with the Cubs' development system not getting through to Castro concerning his responsibilities.

Cubs fans — including Ricketts — were taught a baseball lesson in how an infielder is supposed to carry out his duties. This will inspire some fans to move Valentine to the top of their personal list of candidates for the vacant position of general manager.

Sorry, can't go there. Valentine is a brilliant baseball mind, but there's a reason he hasn't worked in the majors for a while: His personality is difficult to coexist with.

So scratch Valentine from consideration as a GM or field manager. But Ricketts would be wise to keep him on speed dial as a consultant.

Ricketts might say, “Bobby, this is Tom. We just had a catcher fall asleep behind the plate during a game. Can you come to town and meet me at the ballpark to talk this over?”

Valentine might say, “Uh, sorry, sir, uh, my cat is ill. I think I better stay as far away from Wrigley Field as possible, uh, I mean stay here until she recovers. Let's do this by phone.”

You see, even national broadcasters/consultants make excuses for not being able to watch the Cubs for more than a day at a time.

Think about that the next time you spot a couple of Cubs outfielders walking down Michigan Avenue while a game is in progress.

mimrem@dailyherald.com