Boring zaps the buzz from crosstown series

Cubs-White Sox games are measured by fights, not attendance.

The three-game series completed Sunday did attract 125,962 fans, the largest at Wrigley Field for the Sox and Cubs.

But what about fisticuffs?

No Cubs player punched Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski. Carlos Zambrano wasn’t active to slug one of his Cubs teammates. The managers jawed only at umpires, not at each other.

The Cubs and Sox just played baseball.

What fun is that?

Even worse, the crowds were well-behaved all weekend, right up to the final out of Sunday’s 3-1 Cubs victory at 3:47 p.m.

That’s about the time of day that fans are drunk enough and sun-soaked enough to have had enough of each other.

Behind home plate a foursome of tough-looking friends were split between the two teams. During the ninth inning, one of the Sox fans tried to fire up other Sox fans in the section, to no avail, and put down Cubs fans around them, to no response.

When crowds file out through the concourse after these games at Wrigley, the two sides usually exchange taunts that threaten to escalate into something more.

This time, again, nothing.

Before the series started, there was little of the ordinary Cubs-Sox buzz, and suspicions were that the excitement had gone out of the rivalry.

This was both correct and incorrect. Yes, there was no buzz; no, the excitement hasn’t gone out of the rivalry.

Put two good teams on the field, include some appealing players, and fans will be excited and passionate and emotional again.

But what the crowds witnessed for these three days were two teams that haven’t been above .500 since the Daley administration.

(In fairness we should clarify that we’re talking Richard M. Daley’s and not Richard J’s.)

Anyway, it isn’t just that the Sox haven’t been good and the Cubs have been bad.

It’s that they are borrrrrrrrring.

The Cubs’ all-star announced Sunday morning is shortstop Starlin Castro, who is going to going to be an attraction some day soon but still is merely a curiosity.

The Sox’ all-star is right fielder Carlos Quentin, a .253 hitter who is as personable as the accountant auditing your tax return.

The Cubs’ pitching star in Game 3 was Cy Lopez, who entered the day with a 5.40 ERA. The Sox’ hitting star in Game 2 was Babe Pierre, who exited the series with 23 RBI for the season.

Look, the Cubs and Sox have some good players, but does any one of them rock your house? Does either team have a pitcher who might strike out the ballpark on a given day? Does either have a slugger that’ll keep you around for the ninth inning of a blowout just to see him bat one more time?

Checking out whether Adam Dunn whiffs again doesn’t count.

There isn’t a Sammy or a Ryno on the Cubs or a Big Hurt or a Black Jack on the Sox. There’s nobody to love, hate or have any feelings for.

Bill Veeck, the ringmaster who owned the Sox a couple of times, could tolerate dead but had no patience for dull.

Wrigley Field, even filled to capacity, was pretty close to both over the weekend.

There just wasn’t enough fight in the place, or enough championship quality baseball for that matter.

mimrem@dailyherald.com