'Gulliver's Travels' tied down by shoddy effects
I feel a little guilty savaging such a good-natured mess as “Gulliver's Travels.”
I'll have to get over it.
This special effects adventure looks so dark and fuzzy, 2 of its 3-Ds deserted the movie.
The technical craftsmanship is so shoddy that the digital components look faker than fake, and giant Jack Black's eyes aren't always in alignment with the eyes of the tinier characters he's supposedly talking to.
The script, a superficial reinvention of Jonathan Swift's classic 1726 novel (which did not, I recall, include a “Transformers” character), reduces the dialogue to cartoon level then loads it up with lame “awesome” clichés, as in “They threw me an awesome party!” and “You are the president of awesome!”
The main characters constantly flash us the “thumbs-up” gesture to convince us we're watching a Roger Ebert-approved movie. But I didn't fall for that, because Ebert was sitting in front of me at the screening Monday night.
Rob Letterman's “Gulliver's Travels” fails at expanding the cinematic art form. But to be fair, Letterman simply wants to direct a fun and engaging motion picture.
Yet, he fails at that, too.
Black, the unpredictable star of such features as “King Kong” and “The School of Rock,” expands his range by a quarter of a percent as Gulliver, a going-nowhere employee in the mail room of a publications office. (We know because a co-worker named Dan tells us that.)
Gulliver can't bring himself to ask the company travel editor Darcy (Amanda Peet) out on a date. He stays at home playing with his “Star Wars” toys and dreaming of things that will never be.
Then one day, he plagiarizes a couple of travel articles to convince Darcy he can write a travel story on the Bermuda Triangle. Off he goes.
Like the giant twister in Dorothy's Kansas, a fierce waterspout whips Gulliver's boat into the air and knocks him unconscious.
He awakes on the island of Lilliput, where the inhabitants are a few inches tall. The Lilliputians are ruled by King Theodore (Billy Connolly), father of Princess Mary (Emily Blunt) who is betrothed to General Edward (Chris O'Dowd), rival of the slave Horatio (Jason Segel) who yearns for the princess' hand and other parts.
Gulliver befriends Horatio, and, taking a tip from Cyrano de Bergerac, helps the poor man ensnare the princess' heart by slipping Horatio romantic words to say to her. The funky dance Gulliver suggests is a bonus.
General Ed, the villain of the story, can't stand Gulliver, so when the giant threatens to become the king's new best friend, Ed builds a colossal robot to combat Gulliver. (Think Mecha-Godzilla meets Transformers).
The acting in “Gulliver's Travels” is just as wincingly uncompelling as the WWE-inspired smackdowns between Gulliver and Mecha-Ed.
The film's supposedly soft moments — for instance, Horatio confessing he misses his giant buddy — pack all the sincerity of a Bill Murray come-on.
Still, “Gulliver” isn't without its amusing moments, such as the big production number of “War” with Black singing lead to legions of dancing soldiers.
The funniest bit takes place after Gulliver travels to another island where he becomes a tiny toy for a giant girl who imprisons him in her doll house. She forces him to wear a dress and play kissy-face with a male doll that apparently has no moving parts.
Sadly, “Gulliver” has no moving parts, either.
Despite its tepid attempt to render a proper moral (it's how big you are inside that counts) Letterman's movie is at best a modest proposal put together with paste and haste.
What a waste.
“Gulliver's Travels”
★ ½
<b>Starring:</b> Jack Black, Emily Blunt, Jason Segel, Amanda Peet, Billy Connolly, Chris O'Dowd
<b>Directed by:</b> Rob Letterman
<b>Other: </b>Opens Saturday. A 20th Century Fox release. Rated PG. 85 minutes