Action comedy 'RED' blasts aging stereotypes

I walked into Robert Schwentke's “RED" thinking I would see a silly, geriatric revisiting of “The A-Team" or “Mission: Impossible."

I got a crazy, off-the-charts, action comedy lamenting how society shoves aside senior citizens and fails to capitalize on all the years of experience, skill and talent they still have to offer.

“RED" couldn't be any more pro-retiree than if it had been bankrolled by the AARP.

John Malkovich succinctly sums up the general attitude of “RED" with four simple words, uttered right after somebody calls him “old man and his well-placed bullet stops a grenade launcher projectile from reaching its target.

“Old man, my (bleep)!" he says.

Most of the main characters in“RED" — based on Cully Hamner and Warren Ellis' graphic novel — are retired killers for the CIA. (Hence the title, an acronym for Retired: Extremely Dangerous.)

We learn this soon after we meet lonely bachelor Frank Moses (“Die Hard superstar Bruce Willis), who spends his time on the phone chatting up Sarah Ross (Mary-Louis Parker, stuck with the film's weakest character), an administrator for government pensions.

One night a squad of well-equipped assassins comes for Moses, who anticipates their every move and quickly dispatches them faster than John McClane ever could.

In short order, Moses finds Sarah — whom he has never physically met — and kidnaps her, knowing that whoever put the contract out on him knows about their phone relationship, and that she has now become a target as well.

Two questions prompt Moses to return to active duty: Who wants him dead and why?

He begins a worldwide search for the answers, a trip with its own postcard-like title cards announcing which city he visits.

Along the way, Moses reassembles his CIA posse from back in the day.

He hooks up with feisty, 80-year-old Joe (Morgan Freeman), now a retirement home denizen, who still has an appreciation for the female form even in clothed versions.

Moses seeks out the lovely Victoria (Helen Mirren, oozing elegance and sophistication), a stylish femme with a fatal flair with machine guns.

They track down nutjob Marvin (Malkovich, naturally), now a paranoid survivalist living in a bomb shelter basement after being force-fed a steady diet of LSD for years.

Together, they go trotting around the planet, engaging in outrageously comic gunfights and physical acts that would amaze much younger CIA operatives.

Don't go to see “RED" expecting an original plot, cutting-edge action sequences, hot sex scenes or deep commentary on humanity.

“RED" doesn't have any of that.

It has a seasoned group of actors who appear to be having a bang-up time proving to themselves (and us) that they've still got it, long after they've been set aside by the rules of retirement.

And it has Malkovich on full comic overdrive, spitting out as many insults and one-liners as slugs from his comically oversized revolver.

If anything, Schwentke draws out of his characters a subtle, almost melancholy awareness of their own mortality, and a reconsidered assessment of the choices that have directed their lives.

Brian Cox, the original Hannibal Lecter, pops in as a Russian operative warm for Victoria's slender form.

Ernest Borgnine, a spry spy at 93, makes a cameo appearance as a CIA office agent who apparently never, ever retired.

Richard Dreyfuss, fresh from becoming fish bait in “Piranha 3-D," re-creates his best and obvious Dick Cheney impression as a corrupt industrialist villain pulling on more strings than a marionette.

As a daffy, deliberately ridiculous comic romp, “RED" is one good movie.

As a feature-length AARP commercial, it's superb.

'RED'

<p>Three stars</p>

<p>Starring: Bruce Willis, John Malkovich, Helen Mirren, Morgan Freeman, Mary-Louise Parker</p>

<p>Directed by: Robert Schwentke</p>

<p>Other: A Summit Entertainment release. Rated PG-13 for language, violence. 110 minutes.</p>