Bollywood's sensational 'Kites' soars over the top

Every frame in the bold, breakthrough Bollywood movie "Kites" looks as if it's been purloined from a heavy-breathing Victoria's Secret commercial.

Bodaciously beautiful bikini-bound babes practically pose while on a yacht with ripped and rippled men. The camera luxuriates in the sexy, sensual appeal of its main cast. It shamelessly showcases the actors' most alluring pairs, mostly burning green eyes and fiery lips.

Although "Kites" uses English and Spanish as well as Hindi dialogue, and has been filmed in the United States and Mexico instead of India, it's still very much a Bollywood movie, a hyper-stylized, over-the-top cinematic experience of epic excess and bombastic sensationalism.

As directed by successful Indian filmmaker Anurag Basu, "Kites" is mostly a movie about the movies.

It slams seemingly disjunctive genres together with gleeful force, so that one minute we're watching spaghetti western, the next, a moody film noir detective mystery or a spectacular, strobe-edited rock music video.

Film buffs can tick off the stylistic references: "A Fistful of Dollars," "Bonnie and Clyde," "Flashdance," "Smokey and the Bandit," "Thelma and Louise" (make that minus Louise). And more.

"Kites" valiantly attempts to play it straight. That is, people don't suddenly break into elaborately choreographed musical dance numbers as they do in traditional Bollywood epics.

But this is still very much a Bollywood production, so the acting goes way, way over the top, the stunts are ludicrously large, meandering flashbacks are mandatory, and the supercharged score pins you into your chair with alternating waves of gooey sentiment and heart-pumping adrenaline.

"Kites," as the noir-like voice-over narration tells us, are a metaphor for people who've found true love and want to be free, but someone else is pulling the strings!

The story begins with J (Hrithik Roshan), a hunky Vegas hustler and Indian salsa teacher, found shot in a railroad car. He recuperates and heads out on a quest to find his true love, Mexican beauty Natasha (Barbara Nori). She is married to Tony (Nicholas Brown), the hotheaded son of a ruthless Indian gangster (Kabir Bedi) who runs a Vegas casino. To complicate matters, J is also dating Tony's sexy sister Gina (Kangna Ranaut).

J - just J - can't fight destiny. Even so, he and Natasha try to escape and find some happiness in Mexico, but this being a soap-opera, gangster, action-movie epic, it has 2,301 more endings than it needs, plus, so many gratuitous slow-motion shots that if the 130-minute "Kites" ran at regular speed, it would clock in at half an hour.

This production includes cheesy songs with drippy lyrics ("In time, the insanity will fade ..." one sings) and cheesy dialogue with drippy delivery. ("You added color to my life!" J says to Natasha. "My black and white life!")

With a small amount of tinkering, "Kites" could easily become the "Airplane" of Bollywood movies, a ridiculously funny sendup of the genre conventions.

But this wants to be taken as a serious movie. Sometimes, a little too serious.

Note to moviegoers: This is the original Indian version of "Kites," not to be confused with "Brett Ratner's Kites: The Remix." a re-edited, re-tracked version of "Kites" opening in only five American markets, but not Chicago.

"Kites"Rating: #9733; #9733; Starring: Hrithik Roshan, Barbara Mori, Kangna Ranaut, Kabir Bedi, Nicholas BrownDirected by: Anurag BasuOther: A Reliance Big Pictures release. Not rated; language, violence. 130 minutes