Don't allow negative viewpoints to define who you are
"Arise from the depression and prostration in which your circumstances have kept you - rise to a new life!"
- Isaiah 60:1 (AMP)
As a young girl, I curiously watched as my older, married sister would come to our house to visit wearing black and blue marks on her limbs or around her eyes.
Visit after visit, my loving parents suspected she was abused and would coax her to come home. She'd try to come back home, but feelings of insecurity and worthlessness often won out.
It took her 10 years to realize the abuse didn't define who she was and she finally found her way to a better life.
Years later, one of my nieces questioned her father, who had fully reformed from his behavior, about why he acted the way he did. He shared how his mother remarried when he was a young boy and he felt he never fit in with his half siblings, because someone told him he was the "black sheep" of the family.
As a young boy, allowing these words to define him set him on a path of anger and insecurity, treating others unkindly to feel better about himself. Years later, he came to understand it was taking him down a dark path.
It's sad to think how negative remarks cause wounds to our heart and mind that affect our life and others we love. When we don't have the understanding to shake off the words of the bullies or those who reject us, we can unknowingly allow their actions to enter our soul and define who we are.
Once we gain some understanding that others don't define us - only God defines who we are, and He is always striving to help us and refine us - then we can finally shake free of the damage that's been done to our wounded soul.
Allowing people, places and things to describe us isn't that uncommon.
It's not always as extreme as it was for my sister. For many, it's the bully in our classroom or the workplace clique that leaves us feeling emotionally weak or worthless because we don't fit in.
Sometimes being fired from a job or rejected by a mate or friend leaves us feeling mad, hopeless and depressed, wondering what's wrong with us.
These are all natural responses to unfair situations. It take time to come to terms with and work our way through them. But allowing them to shape us into a bitter or wounded person isn't healthy. It can block our ability to feel joyful, loving, creative and productive.
God wants us to have a healthy opinion of ourselves, because he does. People all have their own issues. No one can make us the person God intended us to become except Him, and even with His help, we are a work in progress.
When faced with the negative viewpoints of others, we have to keep in mind that's only their opinion, and allowing someone else's opinion to define us holds us back from living our best life.
• Annettee Budzban is an author, speaker, life coach, nurse and Bible teacher. Contact her to register for her Writing for Fun or Profit conference in February. Annettee is available to speak to your church group, business, civic organization or be your personal life coach. She can be contacted at Annetteebudzban@aol.com or (847) 543-8413.