The Harbour's New Host Home Program Provides Stable Housing and Support for Homeless Youth

Mary Whitfield's sole focus for many years was serving as a mother to her now five grown children.

To her great fortune, Mary discovered the ideal opportunity to apply her parenting skills through The Harbour's new Home Host Program to the benefit of a homeless youth.

The Harbour, established in 1971, "gives young women a safe place to sleep, essential support to continue their education, and assistance in planning for stable housing when family is no longer an option," said Kris Salyards, Executive Director, The Harbour, based in Park Ridge.

The new Host Home Program, started by The Harbour this year, with Mary Whitfield of Palatine serving as the first host parent.

"Host homes are a flexible and cost-effective model for providing stable housing and support. They offer a home-like, non-institutional environment rooted in the community," Salyards added.

"Host homes are effective in urban, suburban, and rural settings. They may be used as short-term emergency shelter allowing youth to remain in their community, as respite care combined with family engagement services or as transitional housing," Salyards points out.

"This model may work especially for unaccompanied youth who can build long-term and authentic relationships with caring adults."

Insights from a Host Home Parent and Youth Resident

It is an understatement to say Mary Whitfield is passionate about being a Host Home parent. "Working with these girls to empower them on their journey to independence is exactly where I can be most effective," Mary explains with great enthusiasm.

"Kris (Salyards) told me she tells the girls when they enter that 'today is the last day of you being a victim.' The Harbour's approach to the Host Home Program truly resonated with me."

Mary Whitfield readily shares her perspectives and experiences as a Host Home parent:

What motivated you to become a host home parent?

"While discerning the most effective way of using all that I am to contribute somehow, I contacted the Harbour and was instantly taken with their mission and their philosophy.

"They develop a plan for each girl, teaching them to apply for jobs, or college, to manage their finances, to plan for their futures, and ultimately to experience the confidence that comes when you realize you have the ability to manage your life.

It's exactly what I have worked diligently to do with my own kids."

What is your role with the youth living in my home-specific responsibilities?

"I saw my role as that of a parent. The youth living in my home needed a safe place to heal from the issues that brought her to the Harbour and the support to become all she can be.

I'm sure every girl has different needs, but in this case she came from an abusive home and there was no reconciliation possible.

"My approach was to treat here just as I treated my own kids. I showed up at all high school events where a parent was expected,

I attended her track meets, I drove her to work (public transportation isn't easy out here), and I counseled her as she was processing previous trauma. I made sure her medical and dental needs were taken care of.

"I assisted her with preparing for college and navigating the financial aid issues, moved her into college, and attended all parent orientation programs.

She received a grocery stipend every week, so we went grocery shopping and I taught her how to budget and plan meals for the week. The Harbour was available to me every step of the process."

What is the most rewarding aspect of being a host home parent?

"This poised, beautiful, intelligent young woman has transformed and learned to use her own voice, to heal from her wounds and to open up to our family. That transformation been an incredible experience.

"I've drawn on all I've learned as a parent to walk with her on her journey. Her bravery and resilience never cease to amaze me.

Each of my five kids have supported her in their own way. Watching them has made me so very proud of them and their character. All of us in this family have grown from this experience."

What advice would you give to others considering being a host home parent?

"Be prepared to be all in. Every girl has different needs. I had no idea what to expect before she moved in.

I did take comfort in knowing how the Harbour operated. The girls live in their group home initially until they are certain there are no issues which would prevent a girl from being appropriate for placement.

"I would advise prospective host home parents to learn the Harbour's approach and to fully understand how the partnership between you and Harbour will work moving forward. There are specific requirements and expectations for each girl outlined in her plan.

"Your job is to assist her and hold her accountable to that plan. I would advise that you listen to her, to give her a safe place to work through her issues, and be ready to deal with whatever issues may arise, knowing that you will have the full support of the Harbour every step of the way."

What is it like to be a Host Home Resident?

Thoughts from the first Home Home resident who has lived at Mary Whitfield's home the past several months (due to the need for privacy her name cannot be identified):

How do you feel about your Home Host parent?

"Mary is my hero. I know that sounds cheesy, but I didn't realize just how much help I needed until I met her. When I first arrived at her house, I was very deep in my facade of being fine despite everything I went through. It was a subconscious act I was playing that even I believed at the time.

"She made sure I knew that she was there for me if I was having a rough day and gave me the space and time to process everything at my own pace. She supported me through therapy and encouraged me whenever I was having doubts.

She gives the best advice out of anyone I've ever known and every time I have a problem, I feel instantly better after talking to her about it."

What is the most important aspect of your relationship with your Host Home parent?

"She helped me get my voice back and gave me the confidence to assert myself and never give up. I never would have guessed something so amazing would have happened to me and I'm eternally grateful for the love and support she provides me.

"It's mind blowing to think of how much I've grown in the short time of knowing her and it feels like I've known her forever.

I'm now in my third week of college now and I don't know if I would have been in such a great place mental health wise had it not been for her."

About The Harbour: www.TheHarbour.org

The Harbour provides a comprehensive continuum of housing options and case management services to youth in crisis, ages 12 to 22, in the North and Northwest suburbs of Cook County.

Since 1971, The Harbour has provided housing and supportive services to community youth in crisis in the North and Northwest suburbs of Cook County. Our lights are always on, our doors are always open!

If you are interested in learning more about how you might be able to help a young woman in need by becoming a host home, please contact The Harbour at general@theharbour.org.