Grammar Moses: This canard is no fish tale

This column has been updated to correct the name of Audrey II, the man-eating plant.

There are some words that make me smile. Sometimes I can explain why, sometimes not.

I suspect "canard" is among my favorites because as a child I was fascinated by Julia Child. As a French chef, she talked about canards endlessly.

"Canard" is French for "duck."

My admiration for Julia Child might also explain my reverence for butter, despite having grown up in a margarine-only household.

In political discourse today, "canard" is bandied about for another reason.

What I didn't know as a 10-year-old watching a fuzzy black-and-white TV is that a "canard" is also a deliberate misrepresentation. In the interest of maintaining the animal theme, a "canard" is a fish tale.

There is a third definition I was unaware of until today.

A "canard" is also a type of airplane or, more specifically, the little wing on some aircraft in front of the main wing that aids in stability. You see them a lot on delta-wing fighter jets.

I consulted with my childhood buddy Scott Schuster, who knows every bolt, solenoid, flap and cable on a 737 - an important quality in an airplane mechanic.

He knew right away what a canard is. He told me much more than I needed to know for purposes of this column. Shirley Schuster didn't raise a dummy.

This type of canard flies a whole lot better than Howard Hughes' Spruce Goose did.

And that's no lie.

You reap what you sew?

So/sew/sow is a trio of homophones that can cause some people trouble.

The Bible taught me "A man reaps what he sows."

In other words, the seeds you plant (sow) now could turn into Audrey II the man-eating plant some day and bite you in the backside. Perhaps that was too literal.

Let's try "Bad deeds have consequences."

At any rate, the past participle of "sow" is "sown."

The past participle of "sew" is "sewn."

I read a note from a well-meaning person apologizing for having "sewn confusion."

Hey, it can happen to anyone. The term is "sown confusion." I came up with the attached sweatshirt design to illustrate my point. If I had gone through with the online purchase, the company would have "sewn 'confusion'" on my sweatshirt.

Come to think of it, I hope the company has this in my size. It would be fitting.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.