Grammar Moses: You'll either love this column or hate it

Life is full of choices, except when it isn't.

"I often hear local traffic flow reporters announce that on expressway X traffic flow is good in either direction," wrote Pat Hyla. "To me this sounds awkward, if not incorrect. I have been taught to use 'either' when referencing a negative condition, such as 'Traffic is not moving well in either direction.' Am I wrong?"

The horse is out of the barn and 10 miles down the road on this one, but, hey, I have to get my steps in today so why not chase it?

Off the top, I'll tell you that "either direction" is idiomatic. I'll also remind you that idioms often don't make a lot of sense upon close inspection. I hope that explanation cuts the mustard.

I'd like to blame traffic reporters for making "either direction" commonplace for the rest of us, but in reality the phrase was a lot more popular in 1942 - its high watermark - than it is today. Go figure.

When your grandpa thrust two closed fists at you and said, "Pick either one," that was a signal that either you did something terrible to deserve his wrath or he was merely challenging you to pick which hand held the quarter and which held the disgusting stub of his cigar.

If you look at the construction of the previous sentence, "either" connotes a choice: one OR the other.

Both of my grandfathers had a bit of the devil in them. I don't recall either offering me the quarter after I chose poorly (though I'm sure they probably did.)

So, if you boil it down, "Traffic is good in either direction" makes no sense. "Traffic is good in both directions" is a nice, logical alternative.

If you want to avoid nonsensical idioms, the choice is yours. I won't rain on your parade.

Words of the day

There are many ways to let someone off the hook.

But "exonerate," "pardon," "acquit," "commute" and "clear" are not synonyms. Some have specific legal meanings; some are more general in nature but sometimes misused to suggest a legal meaning.

Do you know where "clemency" fits in?

Judging from how people talk about these things, you'd think they all mean the same thing. Here is how they are all defined in the legal milieu:

• Exonerate: To free from the charge or the imputation of guilt. To prove blameless.

• Pardon: To release a person from further punishment for a crime.

• Acquit: To clear a person of a charge, as by declaring him or her not guilty.

• Commute: To change a punishment to one that is less severe.

• Clear: (Oddly enough, the definition of "clear" is somewhat unclear as it relates to the legal realm.) To free from a charge or a suspicion of guilt; prove the innocence of; acquit.

• Clemency: Forbearance, leniency or mercy, as toward an offender or enemy.

I hope that clears things up a bit.

If you ever hear someone say something was "commutated," and that person is not an engineer or electrician, he or she is probably misspeaking. To "commutate" is to change the direction of an electrical current, as in AC to DC.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.