Veterans advocates in Aurora: Seeking mental help isn't weakness
When veterans experience the mental health challenges known as the "invisible wounds of war," many fear they've become something they despise: weak.
But speakers at a veterans suicide prevention awareness panel discussion Thursday in Aurora said mental conditions such as post-traumatic stress disorder are not weaknesses; they are brain reactions to lived events. And seeking help is not weakness; it is awareness of the need for the support of others to turn struggle into strength.
Darian Blanks, an Air Force veteran who has survived two suicide attempts, shared his perspective on prevention as he gave a keynote address about his mental health journey to more than 100 people during the discussion sponsored by the Aurora University Veterans Association.
His message: Veterans and their loved ones must not let pride or fear of being labeled stand in their way of seeking help.
Blanks didn't follow that advice himself for the first two years of his time with post-traumatic stress, alcoholism and substance abuse, but he learned.
"Stigma is such a strong force, especially within our military culture. The fear of being labeled as mentally ill or disabled terrified me for years, contributing to my downward spiral," he said. "I said nothing because of the stigma of how reaching out for help makes you seem weak."
The audience met his tale of trauma, struggle, divorce, disconnection and suicide attempts with quiet attention. But the group applauded several times as Blanks discussed his triumphs since beginning to truly seek treatment in 2012, including his graduation from Lewis University with a bachelor's degree in social work and his acceptance to graduate school to study social work at Columbia University in New York City.
"I refused to be categorized as a dysfunctional veteran, someone society shuns," Blanks said.
The Aurora University Veterans Association hosted Thursday's panel to draw attention to the many veterans affected by suicide. Across the country, 20 veterans die by suicide each day. In Illinois, it's one every 45 hours.
One day nearly five years ago, Wendy Meyers' son Brandon was one of them. She advised relatives of veterans with mental health diagnoses to never stop offering them help and giving this message, displayed in a video Thursday by the nonprofit organization Hope For The Day: "It's OK not to be OK."
When one of Brandon's fellow veterans took his own life, Meyers said she asked her son if he was OK. He assured her he was. That was a Friday. He took his own life that Sunday, his mother said.
"If they have PTSD, never take their word that they're OK," Meyers said. "You do the homework. You find the help."
One resource offering help is the Road Home Program at Rush University Medical Center in Chicago, which provides free mental health services to veterans and their families.
Even if a veteran refuses to seek treatment, relatives can, said Sheri Gross, community outreach coordinator. Often when a family member starts attending therapy, Gross said, the veteran will become curious and give it a try.
"That's all that we ask is that we meet us halfway," Gross said.
Other speakers on the panel included Michael Brennan, a psychologist and clinical director of the Road Home Program, who spent five years in the Army as an active-duty psychologist embedded with a cavalry regiment; 84th Dist. State Rep. Stephanie Kifowit of Oswego, a Marines veteran; and Jerimy Weatherly, an Army veteran who said he struggled with suicidal thoughts for 14 years and now is seeking treatment.
• If you or a loved one are in crisis, visit the nearest emergency room or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at (800) 273-8255 or visit suicidepreventionlifeline.org.