To be truly loved invokes a feeling that lasts forever

Luckily there are many types of love in the world. And hopefully love is a big part of each person's life - love of parents, of a grandparent, of a child, a sibling, a friend. And, of course, love of a partner or spouse.

When it comes to partners, there are many phrases about "finding love" out there. Such as, "There is someone for everyone," or "He/She will come along," or "Wait for the right one." And many, many nice songs about these themes.

There's also many songs about lost love or the death of a person's one true love.

These aren't just phrases and songs. To love and be loved is a special and sustaining part of life. It made all the difference to me.

When we lose a dearly loved person to death, there is a great, huge void. But we are left knowing what love really is.

The special love of a beloved spouse or partner can change the whole course of one's life and make life even more valuable. However, as with any partnership, one usually goes first. And so it's devastating for the survivor, so hard to be without that special affection and caring, both the giving and receiving.

I was vividly reminded of this a couple months ago on the annual Valentine's Day observance, a holiday now very different for some of us. Me, I got out a whole stack of Valentine cards with notes from my beloved Baheej, reading many thoughts and expressive messages written in his own hand about our love and relationship. It was bittersweet to read them and it made me cry, but I was glad I did it. Because to be truly loved in life is very sustaining, even almost 10 years after his death. I think it's a great blessing. And from now on, I will bring out these cards and notes every year.

The point is: Cherish those feelings about your beloved, whether a spouse, partner, parent, child or friend. And be thankful you had them in your life. It gives strength as we continue on the path, on our journey managing our grief.

Love is such very special part of life. Not everyone finds this sort of love, but many do.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.