Life continues to change as it will when re-entering the community

As we get into the pleasant weather once again, I'm comforted. Time to be outside, getting my patio containers ready to plant. I bought six bags of potting soil. This feels familiar.

Yet I'm still aware how greatly life has changed over the last years. And a huge change this past year or so since the pandemic hit us with full force.

Now, still another change awaits, as we try to figure out how we can re-enter social life as we, personally, and more and more people, get vaccinated for COVID-19. It's a huge transition for many — it is for me. Many, including me, have been pretty much isolated from in-person social life for months.

I am increasingly thinking we will never return to how we lived pre-pandemic. I hope I'm wrong. I guess a “new normal” will emerge, even if not exactly the same.

Of course, in the larger picture, life changes all the time. As they say, nothing is as certain as change itself. Constant change. Progress. Surprises, new technology, new life, death, catastrophes, all of it. Constant.

However, this current situation feels different to me. It is not just a matter of learning a new technology or finding a way living in a new house or new community. Now we are experiencing a fundamental change in social and cultural life — changes in the basics of what we do, where we go, how we interact with each other, what we do or don't do. And so here we are, in a period of transition, where we want to venture out into social life, yet are not fully ready. It does not feel quite safe yet for many of us.

I think this is a particularly difficult time for the bereaved, who should be out in the community with friends, but must take care of their own health while in the vulnerable state of grief, whether new grief or long-term. It's grief. It's always a complicated factor, lurking under the surface.

For one thing, some of the current problems with COVID-19 are going to stretch out for a long time. I'm vaccinated, for which I'm grateful. But a great number of people around the country are not vaccinated, though great progress is being made, and I'm hopeful we will reach a safe level of community protection in the coming months. That will help.

With every big change, we must reinvent our everyday lives. For me, the huge change was when my beloved Baheej died. It took me years to figure out how to live and do well without him here, to find a sustaining and pleasant new everyday life. Thank goodness his spirit is still with me.

Then another big change came when this awful pandemic arrived. Now we are facing something of a “hybrid” summer — some social life, but not all of it. Some new variations, modifications. It's going to be a mixed bag, at least for me and I imagine others.

This is going to be tough, and somewhat confusing. I understood what hunkering down meant. I understood “stay at home.” I remember my old life. Now to figure out another new lifestyle.

As usual, hope springs eternal. But what to do now, in the meantime, this summer?

Well, I'm personally going to remain rather cautious: For me:

• Front porch sitting with a couple of friends is OK.

• Meeting with “also vaccinated” friends and family for lunch or dinner is OK.

• Masks out in public places.

• No big gatherings, groups, etc.

• Caution for the holidays, 2021.

Definitely a bit confusing. Life is still much more difficult to navigate.

The point is: It's time to rethink everyday life — again. I need a summer plan that is literally a breath of fresh air, but safe. And fun, enjoyable. That's what I'm planning to do, while weighing all the pros and cons of various activities. I'll come up with something I can enjoy.

There's still a long haul ahead, even though progress is being made. We can be thankful for that. Happy spring! Hope you had a happy May Day, and Mother's Day. I did.

• Susan Anderson-Khleif of Sleepy Hollow has a doctorate in family sociology from Harvard, taught at Wellesley College and is a retired Motorola executive. Contact her at sakhleif@comcast.net or see her blog longtermgrief.tumblr.com. See previous columns at www.dailyherald.com/topics/Anderson-Kleif-Susan.