Unbreakable resilience helps us overcome poison of pessimism

Look around with open eyes. It is not too hard to see the power of resilience in nature pushing up like the crocus, tulips in spring.

Spring 2020 is a challenging time for renewing fresh optimism. Spring forward with our clocks. Spring forward beyond the tough times we face with what the coronavirus has done to our world. Like the maple sugar sap rising to the top of the trees to push out leaves, we must tap into the natural power of resilience. Today, this is true more than ever.

What is the personal source we can use to ignite our optimism and beat back dark emotions? Today, I saw sidewalk art done well by some kids out for some fresh air after being cooped up inside. They prove the point so well that resilience and optimism is a "natural phenomenon" and show us adults it should be let out for the world to see.

I received some of my lessons about grit and resilience from some unusual resources. Where do you get yours? In the late 1990s, high school football players I knew as friends became paralyzed badly enough to require a mechanical ventilator to breathe. They became my tutors instructing me in the way of "unbreakable resilience" while I was supposed to lead them in prayers for healing. The boys and I assembled a book called, "Unbreakable Resilience" asserting that resilience is available to everyone given at birth as a natural phenomenon. In the toughest times of life, the boys described demanding of themselves that they take charge over the dark attitudes that lead to feeling sorry for themselves. They learned that responding to tough adversity means mobilizing one's way on a mental ramp of some kind, and powering oneself forward.

Today, I get more resilience lessons from recovering cardiac patients at the NCH Wellness Center in Arlington Heights. Four years ago, the cardiologist predicted that unless I became unusually resilient, I might be dead in a matter of month from congestive heart failure. Needless to say, I found a pathway to practicing lessons learned from the "broken neck boys" every day.

Resilience, I am learning, is a lifestyle choice. Each day, I get my heart pumping via exercise and my spirit and mind pumped up by my fellow patients who inspire and motivate. One of my patient-friends there has a mechanical heart pump he carries in a bag over his shoulder. Nick refuses to give up and tells everybody, "Attitude is everything." His life depends on it.

A new friend and fellow heart patient, Teresa, an Arlington Heights resident, seems to know the antidote to the poison of pessimism. After her heart procedure, she refused to quit on life when others might have given in.

Teresa and I met one day several months ago as we tackled the treadmills. Her eyes were full of tears as she explained that her house had burned down and she was feeling mighty low. Words of support were hardly enough to chase away the gloom. Teresa said, "This shirt I am wearing, somebody gave me. There is nothing left, nothing."

As days went by, Teresa kept coming to rehab and shared her progress with others who had their own plight to overcome.

Teresa and I have honest talks about faith, spirituality, beliefs in a higher power we can turn to when fear and dark emotions take over. Teresa convinces me, like the broken-neck boys, that there is no shortcut to escape the adversity that we feel. The search for some gritty resilience is what we both agree keeps us going. The camaraderie convinces us that encouragement from others matters.

Teresa has found that some of the boost that propels the bounce keeping her going is a "long view." Her long view looks above her messy life, in search for a less common viewpoint that would lead to total breakdown.

"If I allow my natural side to come through, be glad for what I have, look for that person who gives me the smile or hug I need, and keep going to cardiac rehab in order to make the best of this heart of mine, I may be OK," she says. "I look ahead to enjoy the boost I get lifting up others who come to me and look sad and I can lift them in some way."

This coronavirus situation and dealing with our need for strength can be turned into a blessing if we can search for the source of our own resilience resources and share them with another.

• Dr. Don Grossnickle is senior deacon at Our Lady of the Wayside Parish in Arlington Heights.