Imrem: Not a happy tune for Chicago Bears

  • Chicago Bears running back Jordan Howard (24) runs past Washington defensive back Greg Toler (20) during the first half of an NFL football game, Saturday, Dec. 24, 2016, in Chicago.

    Chicago Bears running back Jordan Howard (24) runs past Washington defensive back Greg Toler (20) during the first half of an NFL football game, Saturday, Dec. 24, 2016, in Chicago.

 
 
Updated 12/24/2016 6:05 PM

What does the football Santa give fans who are asking for everything?

Fans whose team is 3-12 after losing 41-21 at home to Washington on Saturday?

 

Well, the football Santa is trying his best, though the 12 days of Christmas aren't nearly enough to fix the Chicago Bears.

(The eight days of Hanukkah certainly wouldn't suffice.)

On the first day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the second day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the third day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the fourth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the fifth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans …. five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

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On the sixth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three receivers catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the seventh day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the eighth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans eight head-coach candidates, seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the ninth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans nine Honey Bears dancing, eight head-coach candidates, seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                       
 

On the tenth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans ten K-Longs a-healing, nine Honey Bears dancing, eight head-coach candidates, seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the eleventh day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans eleven McCaskeys a-selling, ten K-Longs a-healing, nine Honey Bears dancing, eight head-coach candidates, seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

On the twelfth day of Christmas the football Santa gave to Bears fans 12 '85 Monsters shuffling, eleven McCaskeys a-selling, ten K-Longs a-healing, nine Honey Bears dancing, eight head-coach candidates, seven PED passes, six Polians advising … five Jordan Howards … four d-backs covering, three wideouts catching, two first-round picks and a Garoppolo in a pear tree.

Now enjoy a merry 12 days of Christmas, Bears fans … and a happy eight days of Hanukkah as well.

mimrem@dailyherald.com

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