Imrem: Sorry White Sox, but it will always be Comiskey Park
The White Sox's new naming rights deal inspired this particular print space to go up for sale.
The leading contender right now is Bathroom Air Deodorizer Column — BAD Column for short.
That isn't any more awkward than Guaranteed Rate Field, which as of Nov. 1 will be the awkward handle for the home of the awkward Sox.
Well, here's a news flash: The place still is Comiskey Park.
Too bad I forgot that midway through this baseball season.
For 12 years, I resisted the temptation to call the place anything but Comiskey Park.
Then this summer — I can't remember exactly when or why — I succumbed to the current U.S. Cellular Field name and Cell nickname.
Wednesday the White Sox announced the switch to Guaranteed Rate Field.
(The news release noted that the 13-year partnership connects a successful Chicago business with a historic baseball franchise; oh, if only it were a historic Chicago business with a successful baseball franchise.)
No offense to Guaranteed Rate, a respected national mortgage lender that we used when we bought our house and which every spring sends us a magnet schedule of both Sox and Cubs games.
But the ballpark still is Comiskey Park.
Or at least Sox Park.
But forever Comiskey Park for sure.
Switching to Guaranteed Rate Field — the GURF or the GRAF or the GRrrrr for short — is just another White Sox punch line.
(How long before Chris Sale responds by taking a hammer to the sign on the ballpark's facade?)
Seriously, the ballpark isn't U.S. Cellular Field or Guaranteed Rate Field or Encased Meats Field or Anything Else By Any Other Name Field.
It's Comiskey Park, the name of the old ballpark across the street for nearly a century and afterward the name of the new ballpark for more than a decade.
Then suddenly it's supposed to be U.S. Cellular Field and now Guaranteed Rate Field?
No, it's still Comiskey Park.
Maybe I would have adjusted if the Sox changed the name from Day 1 of the new ballpark.
The new place wasn't the old place anyway. It didn't have the same address, charm or memories.
But it stayed Comiskey Park when the doors opened in 1991, right up until naming rights were sold after the 2002 season.
Ballparks, stadiums and arenas traditionally had names relating to their cities, teams, local landmarks or owners.
Chicago Stadium. Tiger Stadium. Mile High Stadium. Three Rivers Stadium. Milwaukee County Stadium ... Comiskey Park.
Other than Soldier Field remaining Soldier Field, another venue in town played the name game as well as possible.
From the day the Blackhawks and Bulls left Chicago Stadium, the arena they moved into has been the United Center.
Good name ... a building where people can unite in their support of a team ... a stable sponsor 25 years later.
That's all too rare. Too many facilities change names every 15 minutes from an insurance firm to a car company to a beer brewer to a retail chain.
Meanwhile, Fried Food Field could be in Florida or Finland. Another Automobile Arena could be in Anaheim or Antwerp. Super Station Stadium could be in Seattle or Sarajevo.
At least Guaranteed Rate, like United Airlines, is a local outfit.
Sorry, though, the White Sox still play in Comiskey Park.
mimrem@dailyherald.com