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Where can a guy get some scratch?

I guess I don't see very well. My wife constantly has to help me find something that is right in front of me. "If it had been a snake, it would have bitten me," is my well-rehearsed apology.

There are other things I've never seen. Like tinfoil. I hear people talk about using it, but all the foil I've ever been given, used, or seen in stores is aluminum foil. Speaking of tin, I've never seen a tin can either. The only cans I know of are made of steel, with perhaps a tin coating inside.

I've never seen anyone stand behind a podium. I've seen them behind a rostrum. I've seen them behind a lectern. But I've never seen them addressing a group while standing behind the platform - the platform called a podium because it is where you stand on your pods (those things the podiatrist works on).

Most of all, I long to see some scratch. It must be the most amazing and versatile stuff on earth, because folks are always bragging about all the wonderful things they've made from it. I've searched aisles from shops to megastores, but I've never seen a carton of scratch. Maybe I should be looking for a can, bottle or sack instead. Just how is this scratch substance packaged anyway, and where can I get some? Is one brand better than another?

Stan Zegel

Winfield

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