Imrem: Late, late show for openers? Absurd

Oh, what beautiful weather for the baseball season to begin in Chicago.

Chilly and blustery.

Clouds don't matter because on Opening Day the sport shines brightly anyway, the players do too and hope certainly does.

Baseball generates it's own heat at season's start, even in those years when snow has to be shoveled out of the Wrigley Field and/or Comiskey Park dugouts.

The only problem this year is not that the high temperature might be under 40 degrees here but that the Cubs are in Anaheim and the White Sox in Oakland.

The Sox don't come home until Friday and the Cubs won't arrive until next Monday, rendering both local openers relatively anticlimactic.

Even worse, Monday's season openers are scheduled for 9:05 Chicago time, with work and school lurking in the morning.

Major League Baseball might as well take a Louisville Slugger and whack Chicago across the knuckles.

Fans of the Cubs and Sox don't agree on much, but they should agree that the schedule maker is a boob.

Who knew that the guy had a morbid sense of humor? Who knew that he drank himself silly before mapping the season? Who knew that he still resents that a cop once gave him a speeding ticket on Lake Shore Drive?

Scheduling the Sox and Cubs to open at night on the West Coast is disrespectful, forcing the faithful to catch a few innings between tucking the fans of the future into bed and dozing off themselves.

This treatment of Chicago must mean that when the Cubs and Sox meet in the World Series this October - a lock, of course - Game 1 will be played on the moon during a lunar eclipse.

Seriously, this is no way to begin a season, any season, especially a season when the Sox and Cubs have high hopes.

Both Chicago teams beginning on the road, at night, in the Pacific Time Zone is like scheduling Round 1 of the Masters at 9:05 p.m. in the Twin Cities on New Year's Eve.

It's difficult enough to stay awake through an entire baseball game without the ninth inning creeping past midnight.

What's the saying, that nothing good happens after midnight?

Well, don't be surprised if the games drag on until something bad happens early Tuesday morning, like the Sox game ending with Jose Abreu striking out with the bases loaded and the Cubs game ending with Hector Rondon yielding a walk-off grand slam.

The only good news would be that not many fans back here would be awake to witness the dual disappointments.

The schedule maker insists that the timing is favorable because the Cubs and Sox get to start in warm weather.

First, no law prohibits our teams from opening at a watchable hour in Florida or a dome. Second, big leaguers representing Chicago should appreciate playing in a meat locker.

Yes, Jorge Soler, we're talking about you.

My goodness, players are paid millions of dollars, often 10s of millions, to play a game that kids of all ages play for the fun of it.

Meanwhile Chicago fans have to pay big bucks to attend some sports events in frigid weather.

It stinks that the Cubs and White Sox open on the road … at night … in the Pacific Time Zone.

The only plausible explanation is that the schedule maker must have always hated Ernie Banks and Minnie Minoso.

mimrem@dailyherald.com