Trump, GOP's unwitting creation

Memo to GOP Establishment: We can work this out. Yes, Trump is crude - crude, like a wooden stake, and very particular in its purpose.

We, your long-suffering conservative base, aim to drive this stake through your dispassionate heart, and in so doing stop you from sucking the blood of nearly every legislator we have sent up to your haunted Hill.

Our politicians, so pure in heart upon taking office, invariably turn into corporatist vampires after one or two terms, shedding their conservatism as though it were a cocoon instead of wearing it like an exoskeleton.

Donald Trump is a monster of your unwitting creation. We have let him loose, but we cannot control him. When he becomes president, he will ransack your House, and overturn your committees. With his own hu-u-ge hands, he will build the "Make America Great" Wall. He'll appoint Ted Cruz to the Supreme Court, to succeed Scalia. Away from the inarticulate ninnies on the Senate floor, Cruz will thrive, hearing only the echoes of his mind.

Next, President Trump will assign Dr. Ben Carson to head the Dept. of Health and Human Services, and order him to dismantle it. Trump will put John Kasich, your present darling, in charge of the Dept. of Education, and order him to dismantle it also. Americans, despite trillions of dollars spent on health and education, have become dumb, depressed, and obese. Why go deeper into debt?

Jeb Bush, your erstwhile champion, can head the Dept. of Low-Energy.

Chris Christie will be chief of the Secret Service - conspicuous, brash and capable, by his very bulk, of obstructing any entryway to the White House.

See? Everyone gets to play. Forget about the brokered convention in Cleveland. You don't want the creature to get mad - you don't, I promise you.

Alexander Lee

West Chicago