Constable: On St. Patrick's Day, respect the bartenders

A holiday known for hangovers, St. Patrick's Day has been hanging over the suburbs for most of March. Bagpipers and bartenders have been in demand the last two weekends, with parades and parties. On Saturday, the Sears Centre Arena in Hoffman Estates will kick off the Northwest Celtic Fest, Arlington Heights will host the Shamrock 5K Beer Run, and Palatine will celebrate with its annual St. Patrick's Day parade.

Oh, and today is the actual St. Patrick's Day, with celebrations at Irish bars across the suburbs.

“Usually people are pretty happy on St. Patrick's Day,” says the aptly named Devin Clark, a bartender at Dooley's Irish Ale House in West Dundee. “We've been celebrating St. Patrick's Day for a while now. It's always St. Patrick's Day here.”

One of the busiest bar days of the year, the holiday can be a lucrative one for bartenders. But it also can be a challenging day of work.

“St. Patrick's Day is a love-hate thing,” says one bartender at Finn McCool's Irish Pub in Schaumburg. Worried that giving advice on how to be a good bar patron could be misunderstood as criticism of paying customers, this bartender and most of the other suburban bartenders who talked for this column didn't want to reveal their names. But even barkeepers who say they like their employers and their customers can think of a few do's and don'ts that would make their job easier.

“Patience,” says one bartender, who tires of people trying to get her attention when she's obviously busy waiting on other customers.

“Do not wave your $50 bill at the end of the bar as if your money is more important than the other people I'm waiting on,” she says, explaining how some can make that scenario even worse. “You'll finally get to the guy waving his money and he doesn't know what he wants.”

A customer looking up drinks on her phone might make a technology request. The bartenders all acknowledge that they have charged a cellphone for a customer nursing a beer at the bar, which should result in a larger tip.

“That happens all the time, and sometimes they don't even have a charger,” says one veteran bartender from Arlington Heights.

“We usually have chargers,” says Clark, who, at age 21, exhibits a youthful enthusiasm and is the only bartender who agrees to be quoted by name. “I like getting to know the customers.”

Being on a first-name basis with regulars is different from giving your name to every stranger.

“I have a street name. I'm Brandy,” says one bartender, who uses an alcohol-inspired alias as she introduces me to her fellow servers.

“And this is Bailey and Jameson.”

It can be difficult to form a nice customer relationship in an instant, but customers need to cooperate, too. If a bartender introduces himself or herself and asks how you are, don't just bark out your order without even making eye contact.

“Yelling ‘Hey! Hey!' isn't good either,” says another.

“Be polite,” advises one frequent customer at the bar at Peggy Kinnane's Irish Restaurant and Pub in Arlington Heights. “They're on their feet all day.”

A customer who snaps his fingers or whistles at a bartender as if he were calling a dog can bristle the hair on the back of a bartender's neck.

“Everybody should have to be server for one week,” says one bartender, who says customers sometimes mistake a bartender for a friend instead of someone with a lot of work to do and the need to make most of the shift's income by way of tips.

“I can't take a shot with you,” explains a bartender who says customers need to realize she's working, not celebrating.

Just as customers can be unfriendly, some can be a little too friendly. “No touching,” says one female bartender. The rise of unisex bathrooms has her making another request of her male patrons who live up to that old saying about how you don't buy beer, you rent it.

“Sit, don't stand,” she pleads.

Alcohol may be a depressant, but a bar shouldn't be a negative space.

“I keep that vibe out of here,” Clark says of Dooley's. “Don't be in a bad mood. And enjoy yourself on St. Patrick's Day.”

Some of the more-veteran bartenders have a couple of other nuggets of wisdom that work on every night of the year.

“Tip and be decent,” a bartender concludes. “Don't drink so much that you puke.”