Best gifts can't be bought, but they can be given
A close friend of mine wants world peace for Christmas.
When asked by friends or family what gift she most desires, she responds simply, "world peace."
All humor aside (for her answer invariably elicits a wry smile from those around her), there is a good deal wisdom in her request.
It seems that once we have satisfied our basic human needs - food, clothing, shelter, safety - our wants become both less concrete and more difficult to identify or secure.
Our 4-year-old wants a particular doll advertised on television. What she wants, actually, are the feelings - happiness, tenderness, companionship - she sees associated with the doll in the commercial, but we'll never convince her of that. And we do want her to have those feelings, but we wonder whether we can really buy them for her for $49.95, plus tax.
Our 8-year-old wants to escape into a land of knights and dragons and daring adventures. He wants the thrill and excitement of such a fantasy world. What boy - big or small - doesn't? But how do we give him that?
Our teenagers want to look a certain way and would really like the gift certificates or simple cash to create that look courtesy of the local mall. But really, they want to be accepted, to be admired, to be happy with their appearance. I'm not sure money can buy such intangibles.
And we adults? Well, world peace doesn't sound all that bad. And an end to violence, injustice and poverty would be nice, too, as long as we're asking.
Sometimes, though, I'd just settle for a little local peace, even just peace of mind. I'd like to know that my family will be safe and healthy, that I'll be able to pay the bills - past, present and future - and that I'll feel "good" about life most of the time. Try putting a price tag on that, let alone finding it.
Most of what is really worth having in life cannot be purchased online or at the local Toys R Us, Brookstone or Target. Most of what is really worth having cannot be purchased at all.
Fortunately, much of what is really worth having in life can be given. We can help each other find happiness. We can offer tenderness and companionship. We can provide opportunities for thrills and excitement. We can give acceptance, approval, admiration.
World peace? An end to violence, injustice, poverty? Well, we can at least give the gift of our commitment and efforts. Prayer wouldn't hurt, either.
• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."