Grammar Moses: Don't get possessive about those holiday cards

My wife is wont to say that one day is Halloween, the next day is Thanksgiving and the next is Christmas. It feels like that sometimes.

Now that the bird is thawing in the sink and you're worried about which of the now-adult children must sit at the kids table Thursday, you also may be fretting about getting those Christmas or Hanukkah cards addressed and mailed.

I have some words of caution before you get started.

The misused apostrophe seems to pop up most often in those carved wood signs people hang outside their campers proclaiming “We're the Smith's.”

And, of course, on holiday cards.

If you're addressing a card to Bob and Cindy Jones and their 12 cats but you don't want to name all of them on the envelope, don't write The Jones' or The Jones' family or the Joneses'.

An apostrophe implies possession. Let's assume for a moment that a family with a dozen cats isn't possessed.

Address it to either to The Jones family or The Joneses.

A simple plural will do.

So, must one always add an es to make a name plural? Of course, not. That would be too easy. This actually is one of the few exceptions.

If your friend's name ends in an S or an X or a Z, you add es.

If your friend's name ends in a ch or sh, you also should add an es.

Otherwise, just add an s.

A final note: Do NOT spend hours writing a single-spaced, no-margins, full-page recounting of everything you and your children and pets have been up to since the last Christmas card was mailed.

This is why we have Facebook.

Ignotum per ignotius

Latin might be a dead language, but we sure seem to flog it still.

Ron Luken or Aurora wrote, “Why is it that people cannot understand the difference between alumnus, alumnae and alumni? It is particularly disturbing to me when colleges and universities use the inappropriate term on license plate holders of alumni. It is likely that there is a single person who is a graduate.”

I remember welcoming a new reporter to the newsroom many years ago. “I understand you're an alumna of XYZ university,” I said to her.

“No,” she responded. “I'm an alumni.”

She didn't last very long.

An alumnus is a man who attended a school.

An alumna is a woman who attended a school.

More than one woman are alumnae.

More than one man are alumni.

And a combination of men and women also are alumni.

If you can't remember all of that, it's safe to abbreviate it say you're an alum.

Contrary to popular opinion, you needn't graduate from a school to be an alumnus.

Final thought

If you were wondering what ignotum per ignotius means, a direct translation is “the unknown through the more unknown.”

It refers to an explanation that is just as — or even more — confusing than that which it tries to explain. Critics of this column will enjoy the reference.

Write carefully!

• Jim Baumann is assistant vice president/managing editor of the Daily Herald. Write him at jbaumann@dailyherald.com. Put Grammar Moses in the subject line. You also can friend or follow Jim at facebook.com/baumannjim.