When to put yourself out there ... or not
Q: A couple of years ago, I applied for a unique job way out of my league. They understandably hired a more qualified person (I didn't even get a call). Would it be really weird to contact the person who got the job to learn more about how I might build the right skills and maybe increase my chances for a job with the organization? I assume I'd need to disclose the fact that I applied in my initial contact, as it would be even weirder to mention over coffee, right?
A: If you show up wearing the same suit and haircut as this person, or making jokes like, "Thanks for keeping my seat warm, ha-ha" ... yeah, that'd be weird. But there's nothing untoward about contacting someone with a cool gig for an information interview. Start with a LinkedIn request or an email expressing your interest in the field.
I don't see a problem with mentioning, now or later, that you applied to the organization a few years ago but had no relevant experience. But if you do, you should be ready to explain what you've done in the years since to make yourself a better candidate. You'll be more likely to receive a helpful response - even a coffee invite - if your query suggests genuine interest and commitment, not just a flight of fancy.
Q: My husband is the president and CEO of a 20-person finance-oriented office. His company hosts a "client experience" event (60-plus people) once a year, as well as an annual holiday party just for the staff. No one other than staff or clients is invited to these gatherings. Since I am the boss's wife, should I be included in either event? I have not even met half of his staff. After a career working in small offices of four or five people, I just don't know the protocol on this.
A: You are currently exempt from two annual sessions of laughing at your husband's jokes as if hearing them for the first time. Why jeopardize that?
Whatever the reasons for restricting the guest list - fiscal prudence, a desire to shmooze clients without distractions-making an exception for the boss's spouse would be a bad idea. It would cause grumbling among those forced to attend solo - or inspire them to wonder why the boss needs a chaperon.
But perhaps you feel obligated to help your husband put a more human face on his position, or you're just curious about the people he spends his weekdays with. As the boss's wife, you're in a position to suggest adding a low-key, inclusive event - a family barbecue, for example - to strengthen camaraderie. But when you have only fruit punch to get you through the umpteenth retelling of his favorite shaggy dog story, don't say I didn't warn you.