Family abuse awareness vigil held in Arlington Heights

Purple ribbons were tied to trees along North School Park in Arlington Heights, red silhouette cutouts representing those who have died from domestic abuse were placed along the entrance to the park's plaza, and LED candles illuminated the dozens of local parishioners, students and community members who wanted to show their support and raise awareness for domestic violence Sunday evening.

"We all bring light into the world," Rev. Corey Brost, president of St. Viator High School, said during the candlelight prayer vigil. "We can bring light into the darkest places of our world."

The vigil, hosted by members of domestic abuse ministries at three Arlington Heights Catholic churches, was held for the first time Sunday in accordance with the national Domestic Violence Awareness Month.

"In the past, a lot of our focus had been pretty much internally to the church," said Pat Kellen, a member of the domestic violence ministry at Saint James Catholic Church, Stepping Stones. "But then we thought, 'this is a community issue,' hence drawing attention here at North School Park."

The other churches involved included Our Lady of the Wayside Catholic Church and St. Edna Catholic Church. Additionally, the St. Viator Chamber Singers, the high school's chorus, performed at the start of the vigil.

Several community members and advocates for domestic violence awareness spoke at the event, including Arlington Heights police representatives, members of the nonprofit WINGS Program and State Sen. Matt Murphy of Palatine, who co-chairs the Northwest Suburban Alliance on Domestic Violence.

"We are a resource-rich community," said Terri McDonnell, coordinator of Stepping Stones. "Help is available to those who need it."

Sylvia Smith, a volunteer for WINGS, had been abused by her stepfather since she was 5 years old, she told attendees. Her stepfather was an alcoholic, she said, and she endured beatings throughout her entire childhood.

Often, she blamed herself for the abuse, she told vigil attendees, but she added, "if you are a victim of abuse, it is not your fault."

Attending therapy and getting help from her community allowed Smith to heal. It took a long time, she said, and it was hard work, but she was determined to have a different life.

Now, she said, she has been married for 37 years, she has children and grandchildren, and she has a "good life."

"You don't deserve to be abused," she said. "You deserve love, respect. ... You deserve more.

"You can change your life."