Body ills may hint at emotional pain

Right now your body is sending you all kinds of messages.

Some of these messages are obvious. A faint rumbling in your stomach is a strong hint that it is time for your midmorning doughnut. A nagging backache is a reminder that you overdid it at the company picnic yesterday. You sense the beginnings of a sinus pressure headache and you realize the barometer is changing again.

With just a little work, we can all get pretty good at reading these messages. We even learn the best ways to respond to them, whether it is a snack at 10:30 a.m., a few back stretching exercises, or a couple of sinus pills.

We're getting some signals, though, that we often don't read very well: the physical signals our body gives us about our emotional health. Usually we tune into the physical part, but we miss the part about our underlying emotional well-being.

For example, a young woman came to me for help a few years ago complaining of chronic lower back pain. She had worked her way through her family doctor, a hospital and, finally, two of Chicago's best-known research hospitals. Despite dozens of doctors and scores of expensive and often uncomfortable tests, no one could find a physical cause for the excruciating pain she felt.

As the pain became worse, "June" (not her real name) had to give up all sports and other strenuous activities. She even quit her job. Sometimes just walking was too much for her to handle.

Finally, a doctor suggested she might have some emotional pain at the root of her physical pain. He advised her to try checking this out with a psychotherapist.

Though a little skeptical, June did come to counseling. As we talked, it became apparent that she was, in fact, sitting on a great deal of unexpressed anger at her mother for controlling much of her life. (To make matters worse, just before June's back problems developed, she had been forced to give up her apartment and move back home for financial reasons.)

Though angry at her mother, and angry at herself for not being more independent, June had never learned how to constructively express her anger. Her body was finally doing it for her. Her lower back pain was angrily punishing June's mother, as June was very dependent on her again. It also was punishing June by depriving her of most of her hard-won freedom.

All in all, June's body was sending her some pretty strong messages. Once she and I learned to read them, we could figure out a better way to deal with her anger - in this case, family therapy involving June and her mother. And as you have probably already guessed, June's back pain "miraculously" disappeared.

Some doctors estimate that as much as 80 percent of our physical pains are tied to emotional pains. Our susceptibility to viruses, bacterial infections, accidents and so on often have an emotional component to them.

There is one common denominator in all this. Our body is sending us messages about what is going on inside of us emotionally, if we'd only learn to read them. And, just as June "cured" herself of her chronic back pain by learning to express her emotions in another way, we too can short circuit many of our own physical ills by developing healthier ways to come clean with what we are feeling.

Note: I said "many" of our physical ills, not all of them. Your first line of defense against what seems to be a physical problem always must be your family doctor. Then, if it turns out that there is no physiological foundation to your problems, you probably need to look to your emotional life for clues.

Listen to your body. It has a lot to say to you. If a good many of its messages are filled with pain, it may be telling you that you have some unfinished emotional business to deal with.

• Dr. Ken Potts is on the staff of Samaritan Counseling Center in Naperville and Downers Grove. He is the author of "Mix Don't Blend, A Guide to Dating, Engagement and Remarriage With Children."