Honestly, really: Thank goodness ...
Sports teams, sports figures and sports fans have so much to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day.
For starters, thank goodness ...
Josh McCown came back in his eighth or ninth NFL life as Joe Montana.
That even though Jay Cutler has married and started a family he hasn’t moved to Mr. Rogers’ neighborhood, started wearing zippered cardigan sweaters and become a total teddy Bear.
For even the remote possibility that Brandon Marshall doesn’t talk in his sleep, too.
The Bears have health insurance, they have disability insurance and they haven’t needed life insurance yet.
Nobody at Halas Hall has to sing, “Where have you gone, J’Marcus Webb, an offensive line turns its lonely eyes to you.”
Honestly, thank goodness ...
For “N!-I!-U!”
Derrick Rose has only two knees to blow out.
If Rose never plays again he’ll have enough money to feed his family and Robby Gould’s, too.
Northwestern’s dreadful season disqualifies Pat Fitzgerald from consideration to fill USC’s coaching vacancy.
NU gets to play Illinois in football this weekend and Illinois gets to play Northwestern in football this weekend.
Purdue is in the Big Ten.
Both the Cubs and White Sox can find Cuba on a map.
Paul Konerko demonstrated to kids that by conducting themselves admirably in the present their bosses would reward them illogically in the future.
Chris Sale is enrolled in Underweight Watchers.
The Sox are saddled with Adam Dunn for only one more season before he moves on to play in a two-strikes-and-you’re-out softball league.
Santa has etched both A-Rod Rodriguez and Buddy Boy Selig on the naughty side of his ledger.
The state’s pension deficit is only in the billions rather than the gazillions.
The White Sox aren’t in the Cardinals’ division, the Cubs aren’t in the Tigers’ division and neither is in the Red Sox’ division.
Someone will win the Heisman Trophy even after so many candidates eliminate themselves due to social indiscretions or criminal transgressions.
Really, thank goodness ...
Starlin Castro has Anthony Rizzo to deflect the wrath of Cubs fans and Anthony Rizzo has Starlin Castro to deflect the wrath of Cubs fans.
Theo Epstein wasn’t foolish enough to announce a firm timetable for his ballclub’s endless rebuilding plan and Tom Ricketts wasn’t foolish enough to announce a firm timetable for his ballpark’s endless rebuilding plan.
Tom Tunney is around to provide comic relief.
Rooftop owners are around to provide a reminder that a contract still means something in this country.
The city turned down the Cubs’ demand to sell advertising between works of art on the walls inside the Art Institute.
Tom Thibodeau does ... his ... job.
Joel Quenneville does ... his ... job.
Jordan Lynch does ... his ... job.
Blackhawks players are resisting the urge to grow beards during the regular season.
Corey Crawford hasn’t been handed a microphone since the Hawks’ most recent championship celebration.
“Most recent” can be applied to Hawks’ championship celebrations.
On a serious note, thank goodness for all the teams and athletes that contributed to relief efforts for Illinois’ tornado victims.
And for newspapers hanging tough.
And especially for newspaper readers remaining loyal.
And, finally, for the opportunity to wish all of you a Happy Thanksgiving.