Spellman's Scorecard: Theomania takes over Chicago

Let me get this straight:

Some rumors have Theo Epstein coming to the Cubs in the role of president. That means he would hire and oversee a GM of his choice, while the new GM would keep an eye on the manager and the players.

Hmm.

Quick refresher course:

This from Tom Ricketts in June:

"I've never bought into the idea that I should have a baseball guy to watch my baseball guy and his baseball guys. Then what do you get -- a baseball guy to watch the baseball guy who's watching your baseball guys?"

Um:

Exactly.

Now get him signed and let's see how it works out.

BTW:

Until Epstein is officially on board, I'm going to have images of the Dave McGinnis fiasco with the Bears running through my head.

Just asking:

Is there a professional football equivalent to Theo out there?

Darn those Sox:

First comes word that some Red Sox pitchers were enjoying beers and fried chicken in the clubhouse during games this season.

Then White Sox catcher A.J. Pierzynski admits that, yeah, he's had a "rally beer" on occasion during games as well.

Question:

Why in the world is alcohol available in the clubhouse before and during games?

After the games? Heck yeah, open bar!

OK, admit it:

The best part of the Bears game Monday night was that commercial with Derrick Rose in the bullring.

Oh, okaaaaaaaay:

Brandon Kelly told the Santa Rosa Press Democrat he threw that hot dog at Tiger Woods because he was inspired by the movie 'Drive.'

"As soon as the movie ended, I thought to myself, 'I have to do something courageous and epic. I have to throw a hot dog on the green in front of Tiger.'"

Whew! So my desire to toss a three-bean salad at an elm tree after seeing "Captain America" wasn't that unusual? Cool.

What a relief:

If reports are true, it looks like Theo Epstein will command $4 to $5 million per year, or in other words, John Grabow money.

How weird is it?

That the newest savior of the franchise commands less money than a fair-to-midland reliever?

Sad but true:

If the Bears, like Muhsin Muhammad famously said, are where wide receivers go to die, what does that make the Cubs when it comes to stars -- whether on field or in management?

Famous Theos:

Huxtable, Ratliff, Reggie Theo-us ... ok, forget it.

Meanwhile:

New White Sox manager Robin Ventura has about a 10-minute introductory news conference and then spends a day making the rounds at radio stations.

Of course, everyone was busy talking about the Bears' debacle and Theo's imminent hiring.

Nice guy ... unfortunate timing.

Missing Laddy:

I know finances forced the Blackhawks' hand, but it still hurts not seeing Andrew Ladd in that Indian head sweater.

How things have changed:

"When we started we didn't have anything to work with. We didn't have any minor league background or any big-league team. At least you have a semblance of a big-league team (now) and a fairly established minor league system."

-- Dallas Green, former Cubs GM, on what the organization was like when he took over in the early '80s.

• Mike Spellman's Scorecard column appears Fridays in the Daily Herald.