What a voice!

Famed New York comedian Gilbert Gottfried ("Aladdin," "The Aristocrats") returns this week to perform standup starting Thursday at two Zanies locations: first at 1548 N. Wells St., Chicago. (312) 337-4027; then at Parkway Bank Park, 5437 Park Place, Rosemont. (847) 813-0484. $30 plus a two-item purchase. zanies.com. 8 p.m. Thursday, March 8, and 8 and 10:15 p.m. Friday, March 9, in Chicago; 7 and 9:30 p.m. Saturday, March 10, in Rosemont

'Revelations' and more

Alvin Ailey American Dance Theater returns with works choreographed by Twyla Tharp, Jamar Roberts, Gustavo Ramirez Sansano and more. The company's annual engagement starts Wednesday at the Auditorium Theatre of Roosevelt University, 50 E. Congress Parkway, Chicago. $41-$134. (312) 341-2300 or auditoriumtheatre.org. 7:30 p.m. Wednesday to Friday, March 7 to 9; 2 and 8 p.m. Saturday, March 10; 3 p.m. Sunday, March 11

Desperate measures

Former "Doctor Who" star Billie Piper earned critical acclaim in a London stage production of Lorca's drama "Yerma." See a special screening of the performance on Thursday at College of DuPage's McAninch Arts Center, 425 Fawell Blvd., Glen Ellyn. $24. (630) 942-4000 or atthemac.org. 7 p.m. Thursday, March 8

World of Wheels returns to the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center in Rosemont. Courtesy of World of Wheels
Top autos

Ogle custom cars and hot rods this weekend with the return of World of Wheels at the Donald E. Stephens Convention Center, 5555 N. River Road, Rosemont. $20; $7 kids ages 6 to 12. (847) 692-2220 or autorama.com/attend/chicago. 3 to 10 p.m. Friday, March 9; 10 a.m. to 10 p.m. Saturday, March 10; 10 a.m. to 6 p.m. Sunday, March 11

"Dixie's Tupperware Party" sets up shop at the Grand Victoria Casino in Elgin on Friday and Saturday, March 9 and 10.
Pop princess

Pop phenomenon Demi Lovato shares a concert bill with DJ Khaled tonight at the Allstate Arena, 6920 N. Mannheim Road, Rosemont. $49.99-$391.95; $15-$20 parking. (800) 745-3000 or allstatearena.com. 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 9

Folk legend

Tickets are extremely scarce to see beloved singer and songwriter Art Garfunkel this weekend at two locations: first at Elgin Community College's Blizzard Theatre, 1700 Spartan Drive, Elgin. $59-$79. (847) 622-0300 or elgin.edu/arts; then at North Central College's Wentz Concert Hall, 171 E. Chicago Ave., Naperville. $70-$80. (630) 637-7469 or finearts.northcentralcollege.edu. 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 9, in Elgin; 8 p.m. Saturday, March 10

Celtic steps

Start your St. Patrick's Day celebrations early with the touring Irish dance revue "Rhythm of the Dance" tonight at the Batavia Fine Arts Center, 1201 Main St., Batavia. $39-$47. (630) 937-8930 or bataviafineartscentre.org. 7:30 p.m. Friday, March 9

'Sweeney' revival

Lyric Opera of Chicago and New York City Opera veteran Philip Torre stars as the titular vengeful barber in Theo Ubique Cabaret Theatre's revival of "Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street." Jacquelyne Jones plays his mercenary partner in crime Mrs. Lovett in the production directed by Fred Anzevino with music direction by Jeremy Ramey. Previews at 7:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday, March 9-10, and 7 p.m. Sunday, March 11. Opens Monday, March 12, at No Exit Cafe, 6970 N. Glenwood Ave., Chicago. $20-$44. (800) 595-4849 or theo-u.com.

"Dixie's Tupperware Party" sets up shop at the Grand Victoria Casino in Elgin on Friday and Saturday, March 9 and 10.
Just burp it

Whenever a new Tupperware catalog or product line is released, you can bet that Kris Andersson , the drag star of "Dixie's Tupperware Party," will be dreaming up new gags. "Dixie's Tupperware Party" returns this week for two shows only at the Grand Victoria Casino in Elgin. 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, March 9 and 10; doors open at 7 p.m. Grand Victoria Casino, 250 S. Grove Ave., Elgin. (847) 531-7749 or grandvictoriacasino.com/dixie. $50-$55; $65 early 6:30 p.m. admission and onstage seating. For mature audiences ages 21 and older.

From meme to stage

A 2011 internet meme showing women laughing and eating salads inspired playwright Sheila Callaghan's "Women Laughing Alone With Salad," a satirical, feminist comedy about friendship, sex, men, envy, diets, pharmaceuticals and salad. Theater Wit presents the Chicago-area premiere under director Devon de Mayo. Previews at 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, March 9-10, and 3 p.m. Sunday, March 11. Opens March 19 at 1229 W. Belmont Ave., Chicago. $12-$70. Note: Tickets for women will be discounted to reflect the 79 percent wage gap between men and women in Illinois. (773) 975-8150 or theaterwit.org.

Thriller sendup

Four actors play dozens of characters in BrightSide Theatre's revival of the farcical whodunit "The 39 Steps." Adapted by Patrick Barlow from John Buchan's 1915 novel and Alfred Hitchcock's 1935 film, this murder-mystery centers around the adventures of a bored, lonely British bachelor who finds himself embroiled in an international murder mystery. Magdalene Spanuello directs this suspense thriller sendup. 8 p.m. Friday and Saturday, March 9-10, and 3 p.m. Sunday, March 11. Runs through March 25 at Meiley-Swallow Hall, North Central College, 31 S. Ellsworth St., Naperville. $25, $30. (630) 447-8497 or brightsidetheatre.com.

Oversize adventures

Chicago Children's Theatre creates a walk-through experience with oversize environments with "An Epic Tale of Scale." See what it's like to be shrunken down to size starting Saturday at The Station, 100 S. Racine Ave., Chicago. $47. (872) 222-9555 or chicagochildrenstheatre.org. Various times Saturday and Sunday, through April 8 (no performance April 1)

A music master

The life and work of composer and conductor Leonard Bernstein (1918-1990) is showcased in the concert "Celebrating 100 Years of Bernstein." Kate Baldwin, Nathan Gunn and Susan Graham are the star soloists, while Bernstein's one-act suburban drama opera "Trouble in Tahiti" is also on the bill on Saturday at the Lyric Opera of Chicago, 20 N. Wacker Drive, Chicago. $32-$149. (312) 827-5600 or lyricopera.org. 7:30 p.m. Saturday, March 10

The Irish Comedy Tour plays the Raue Center for the Arts in Crystal Lake on Saturday, March 10.
Hibernian humor

Comedians directly from the Emerald Isle (or with ancestral roots) team up for the Irish Comedy Tour. The Saturday show features Derek Richards, Mike McCarthy, Damon Leibert and Derrick Keane at the Raue Center for the Arts, 26 N. Williams St., Crystal Lake. $25-$35. (815) 356-9212 or rauecenter.org. 8 p.m. Saturday, March 10

Orchestral vistas

Violinist Olya Prohorova and conductor Stephen Squires are the guest artists featured in the Fox Valley Orchestra concert "Landscape of Visions." On the bill Sunday are works by Bernstein, Vaughan Williams and more at Aurora University's Crimi Auditorium, 407 S. Calumet Ave., Aurora. $14-$16.50; $12-$14.50 students/seniors; $9-$10 kids ages 8 and under. (630) 891-2526 or foxvalleyorchestra.org. 3 p.m. Sunday, March 11