Sleep, perchance to sleep again

By Kent McDill

Many years ago, I heard of a survey taken of adults ages 30-54. They were asked, “Which would you prefer in your life today: More sleep or more money?”

Sleep won overwhelmingly. Perhaps in today’s world money would get a few more votes, as people tend to lose sleep thinking about money problems, but I bet sleep would still win.

In our house, sleep is a hot commodity. If there was someone selling sleep door-to-door, they would make a killing just by stopping at our place. If the price is set under the economic structure of supply and demand, it would be like gold in our house, because everyone wants more sleep than they can get.

I wake up the kids in the morning (four teenagers ranging from 17 to 13, with a set of twins in there somewhere). I’m up anyway, and it remains a nice tradition, a reminder of the days when they really couldn’t wake up themselves.

I miss those days. I remember gently caressing their tiny heads and faces as I whispered “Good morning, sunshine” and eased them out of their slumber to start their adventurous day. I was always greeted with the sweetest smile. I miss those smiles.

Today, I pull back the bed covers, shake them and say, “Big news, big news!” They say “What?’’ and I tell them something inconsequential. Then, they moan. That’s why little kids are better than teenagers.

I remember what it was like putting the little ones to bed, when they could hardly keep their heads up they were so tired, when putting them to bed meant putting them to sleep because that’s what they did the minute their head hit the pillow.

Of course, I remember putting our first, Haley, to sleep as an infant. She cried and cried, and my wife, Janice, and I finally had to go through that most horrible of parental traditions, letting your child cry herself to sleep. For the first child, that has got to be one of the toughest things a young parent does.

You spend the rest of your day trying to soothe your child when she cries. You want to solve the problem, find out what is bothering her, whether she is hungry or wet or being gnawed on by a rabid uninvited woodland creature.

Then, as bedtime approaches, you put your child in her adorable pajamas, cuddle with her, make sure her crib is safe, place her gently upon the bed, walk out the door and listen to her tear your heart out for the hour or so it takes her to cry herself to sleep.

Perhaps there are experts who say that system is not the proper way to teach a child to go to sleep at night. But you know what? It works, and I’m a big believer in going with what works. When the other three came along, Janice and I were far less stressed over the procedure. You want to know why? It’s because we wanted to sleep ourselves.

What you discover as a young parent is that you can exist on just a few hours of sleep a night. Sleep is not a need, it’s a luxury.

The trouble with having teenagers in the house is that they love to sleep, and getting them up in the morning can be a hassle because they just want to sleep more. What they DON’T want to do is go to bed.

Why is it that kids who whine in the morning about being tired won’t go to bed at night without whining again? They are smart kids. They have to know the sooner they go to bed, the sooner they will sleep, and the more sleep they will get. But getting them to go to bed in a timely fashion is like wrestling with a stupid bear that just doesn’t know any better.

Once I wake them, my kids all have a morning sleep routine. Haley lies in bed for a few minutes, perhaps planning her day. Lindsey almost always begs for 10 more minutes. Dan gets up, eats a quick breakfast, and goes back to sleep for 10 minutes before getting his second wake-up.

Kyle, at 13 the youngest, used to be the most adorable child, waking up in a good mood, with a joke at the ready. Now he moans, every morning, that he got ABSOLUTELY NO SLEEP through the night. Then he goes downstairs into the family room and steals 15 more minutes before rushing to get ready for school.

But Kyle would not go to bed early on a school night if you paid him to do so. That makes no sense to him.

Weekends are sleepfests for the kids, unless some sports activity beckons. When children are young, they look forward to the weekend because the day is full of possibilities. Teenagers see weekends as the time when they can just sleep.

I know for a fact, if I offered them money to get out of bed before they were ready to do so, they would turn it down. Once again, sleep would win.

Ÿ Kent McDill is a freelance writer. He and his wife, Janice, have four children, Haley, Dan, Lindsey and Kyle.