So, the Bears' defense would like to be mentioned in the same sentence as the club's '85 defense.

Well, they'll have to settle for the above paragraph.

Unless, you know, they meant 1885 bears running around the woods trying to keep from being stomped on like a grizzly rug in front of a fireplace.

This season's edition of the Bears had to be better than that Sunday to contain Minnesota's Adrian Peterson, who certainly wasn't going to be stopped.

Instead, it was worse.

The game came down to Peterson against Devin Hester, even though they weren't on the field at the same time.

See Peterson run from scrimmage. See Hester run back kicks. See Peterson run back kickoffs. See Hester catch a touchdown pass.

See the Vikings win 34-31 on Ryan Longwell's 55-yard field goal with nothing left on the clock, which might also be how much time the Bears' playoff hopes have.

The Peterson-Hester competition was like Brad Pitt against George Clooney in a beauty contest or Donald Trump and Mark Cuban in an attention-eating contest.

We're talking about two winning football players in Peterson and Hester on two losing football teams in the Vikings and the Bears.

Brian Griese, of all people, threw for 381 yards against the Vikings' defense, which never compared itself to Minnesota's old "Purple People Eaters" that repeatedly reached the Super Bowl.

Peterson rushed for 224 yards against the Bears' defense, which blew any chance of being compared to the "46 defense" that won Super Bowl XX.

The difference in the game essentially came down to Peterson scoring 3 touchdowns (runs of 67, 73 and 35 yards) to Hester's 2 (punt return of 89 yards and pass reception of 81).

Or perhaps it came down to Peterson touching the ball a couple of dozen times compared to about a half-dozen for Hester.

Actually, the outcome came down to the difference between these Bears and the 1985 Bears.

Peterson runs the ball a lot like Eric Dickerson did back then for the Rams, and you might remember how the Bears made him all but cry in the playoffs.

In contrast, it was the Bears who were crying over how Peterson and co-featured back Chester Taylor combined for 307 rushing yards.

"We can't figure out what's going on," Bears defensive end Alex Brown said. "We're not very good right now."

Not very good? The initial reviews of ABC-TV's "Cavemen" sitcom aren't very good. The Bears' defense was awfully gosh-awful against the Vikings.

For a coaching staff that prides itself on running on offense and stopping the run on defense, the Bears were outplayed in both.

"We were a bad defense today," Bob Babich understated.

The Bears' defensive coordinator attributed the problems to bad tackling, bad angles, bad calls. You can add the failure to shed blocks.

Bears all-pro middle linebacker Brian Urlacher, who receives so much credit when the defense plays well, had no explanation for this pathetic performance.

Except, that is, for a few curt, unrevealing responses like, "Gotta play better."

Yes, they do. Their record is 2-4. They trail the Packers by 3 games in the NFC North. It's getting late early around here.

"It's gonna be over (if the Bears don't improve fast)," Brown said.

The least the Bears' defense could do is improve enough to help Devin Hester win a game.

mimrem@dailyherald.com